Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49348 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49348 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
“I’m alright. I want to get this out and then close the door on my past forever.” Gabe stays where he landed, hands still cupping my cheeks, tears still streaming down my cheeks, and he’s trying to wipe them down. It’s at this moment I realize I’m at peace. This crying jag is cathartic. It’s for the girl who lost her childhood because two people were so selfish they couldn’t think about their child.
“As long as you’re sure.” He doesn’t look sold on the idea. Hopefully, this doesn’t have him running for the hills and hiding from the overly emotional woman after we’re done.
“I went to school, walked to and from, which worked well considering their apartment wasn’t too far away. I was guaranteed breakfast and lunch. Not sure who made that happen. My parents would never bother with doing paperwork, so maybe the school saw the poor girl and took mercy on her. I made sure to stay as late as possible, reading in my teacher’s classroom or helping her clean, anything to stay away. That worked until middle school, when I found the local library and did the same. My goal was to remain hidden. The less I was seen, the better it was. Then high school came around, and I became more aware of my body, wore the baggiest clothes I could, and hung out at the library when I wasn’t working in order to have food, power, and water. It wasn’t until earlier this year that I knew it was time for me to make my escape. I wasn’t living, I was surviving, and it was damn lonely. I made a plan, worked doubles, and saved money. Once Mom was finally out of the apartment, made my break.” I don’t tell him about the leering eyes, the way my mom looked at me with jealousy, or how my dad ignored me more and more. I didn’t think he was that bad of a person. He didn’t yell or scream like Mom. He just sat on the couch, drank himself into a stupor, got up each morning to go to work, and repeated the cycle.
“Something else happen, Carsynn? Your mom had people over, your dad wasn’t around much?”
“God, no. I mean, there could have been opportunities. Luckily, the fire escape was out my bedroom window. I’d leave if things got sketchy. The library was my safe haven when I was younger. As soon as I graduated high school, even had full ride scholarships, stupid me didn’t take it because I thought they would change, obviously that was a mistake on my part,” I take a deep breath, in my feelings about how I let that slip through my fingers. “I thought my life would be work, hide, sleep, and work again. An endless cycle.” Finally, my story is over, and the heavy weight on my chest feels like it’s been lifted.
“Carsynn, you amaze me.” Gabe must have gotten uncomfortable with how we’re sitting. I’m lifted, his knees going behind my thighs, he wraps my body in his arms, and then he’s settling on the couch, this time with me on his lap. I really liked the weight of his body on me, a comfort of sorts, but this way is nice, too. Every way with Gabe McCoy has been perfect. I only hope it continues this way for a good long time.
“I don’t know about that. Some have it worse.” I shrug my shoulders.
“You are, fairy. So damn amazing. The sperm donor and a womb donor are not parents. The titles mother and father do not pertain to them. I’ll bust my balls ’til the day I die to show you how amazing you are until you believe it, too.” His words are conviction. He won’t let me say otherwise.
“Okay, we can share the title. I’m here now, and I thought my bad luck followed me. Turns out I was wrong. My luck changed the day you walked into the diner.”
“Fuck, fairy, not gonna get anything done now. Shit will have to wait, since your words hit me in the heart and in my dick, Carsynn.” I snort out a burst of laughter with his proclamation. He further proves his point by flexing his hips.
“Oh no, you don’t. I need to get over my fear. Eventually, I’ll have to get behind the wheel of a vehicle, and Bernie is waiting on us. Plus, you have work.” I dip my head. Gabe cups the back of my neck, pulling me down. My good sense falls by the wayside. The only thing that matters when his lips are on mine is it’s just the two of us. The sweep of his tongue along my lips, the way my breath chases his, and I’m lost in everything except Gabe. He doesn’t help matters by the fisting of my hair in his hands or the way his other hand is pulling his clothes up, baring my body to the cool air. “Gabe,” I breathe into him, my body shivering when the palm of his large hand meets the cheek of my ass, heating me instantly. I know it’s going to have to be me to put a hold on our clench. A kiss always seems to turn into more when Gabe and I are with one another, and while I love the complete abandonment we feel, I know Grandpa Bernie needs to see both of us.