Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“No, I guess not.”
We kept going, the destination inconsequential. At one point, Remington tripped on a raised edge of sidewalk. My hand shot out to steady him, the warmth of his body penetrating through his hoodie.
“Thanks,” he said shyly. “I’m a bit of a mess.”
I didn’t think he was a mess at all. He was fascinating.
“Why do you want to? Change it, I mean?” he asked when we started moving again.
We made our way to a park and sat on a bench. It was getting colder, but I didn’t want to leave, didn’t want the night to end. “I don’t know. It feels like everything is planned out for me. And that’s not bad, as such. I know I’m lucky. My parents are good people, and my siblings are the best. I have a good life, so…I don’t know? It’s not that I want to change it; I just wish I knew what I wanted.” As if I had a choice in the matter.
“You’ll figure it out,” Remington replied.
“How do you know?” The question tumbled from my mouth without any thought from me, and it was…fuck, it was embarrassing. “That was dumb.”
“No, it wasn’t. And I guess I don’t know.” He laughed. “Maybe I’m supposed to have something better to say there. Like, oh, you’ll figure it out because…fuck, whatever. I don’t know, but the truth is, I hope you do. You can’t know I’ll make it as a musician, yet you said it for the same reason I said what I did.”
It was the best thing he could have said, because it was honest. Remington didn’t pretend to have all the answers.
We looked at each other, and I got this fluttery feeling in my belly. We’d been talking for hours, and it probably wasn’t super safe to be out, and it was cold as shit, but I didn’t care. There was a path behind us with lights along the sides, and they made it so we could see each other.
A puff of air left Remington’s mouth, his warm breath misting in the cool air. I watched his lips as he licked them, and that fluttery feeling was back, even more potent than it had been a moment ago.
Want.
Before I could dissect it, I was leaning in and he wasn’t backing away. What the fuck am I doing? ran through my head, but I ignored it because I really wanted to keep going. And then our lips were touching, and it felt like this electric current zipped through me. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, and I let it, wanted it. We kissed and groaned and ate each other’s sounds. He tasted good, like coffee, music, and passion, and it felt good, the rub of his stubble against my face.
Fuck, I never wanted the kiss to end. I wondered if I could live there, in that moment, with Remington’s lips on mine. It didn’t matter that he was a guy. It didn’t matter how new this was for me.
But then, this likely wasn’t anything new for him. Maybe he kissed guys the way I’d kissed girls my whole life.
When he pulled away, I instantly wanted to tug him back.
“If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it?” he asked, out of the blue. Was that it? Did he tell corny jokes when he was nervous?
I smiled. “I’ve never…” I began, but couldn’t finish the sentence. Raising my hand, I touched my lips like I could feel his kiss against my fingers.
“Me either.”
“You haven’t?” Holy shit. I hadn’t expected that.
“I mean, I’ve known I’m into guys. I’ve sure as hell wanted to kiss a lot of them, but I never have. It’s not something that would go over well where I’m from. Plus, it’s not like I’m real good with people. I wasn’t in school, so I didn’t have a lot of friends—and now I’m rambling.”
I didn’t know if he meant at home or in town or what. “Oh,” I replied, a little disappointed that I wasn’t the only guy he’d wanted to kiss. “I didn’t…know.” Though if I were honest, I’d admit there had been signs. I loved women, fuck, I loved women, but I’d looked at guys, noticed guys too. I just told myself I didn’t. There was this kid, younger than me, who went to my high school back home—Kellan. People gave him shit for being gay all the time, even though I didn’t even know if he was.
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to push myself on you or anything.”
My eyes snapped to his. “What? No. I was the one who kissed you. And it was fucking hot. I really liked it.” Then I was leaning in and kissing him again. My dick got hard, and he grabbed my hair, and holy fuck did I like kissing Remington. Maybe more than anyone I’d ever kissed before.