Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 131789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
“Is that true?”
“Which part?”
I shake my head, torn between laughing and groaning. “Dude is too much.”
He’s also some sick marvel of biology—the shit he gets away with while still performing at peak athletic ability is insane. Because that’s the trick. It’s why Lawson runs around getting away with murder: everything comes so fucking easy to him. If he actually applied himself, he’d be an Olympic-level swimmer. And he’s sharp as hell. Would break the SATs if he felt like it. I’d hate him if he weren’t so easy to pity.
“After Coach’s pep talk, he told me I could make it up to him by getting RJ on board.”
My heart skips a beat at the sound of RJ’s name. Oh no. I’ve been trying not to think about him all day and failing miserably. Now that he’s a topic of conversation, it’s impossible to push him from my mind.
“What, really? Like join the team?” I suck back a laugh. “Where did that come from?”
“Yeah, so the other day his PE class was in there doing laps. Coach saw him and now he’s got a major crush.”
“Wow…” It’s hard to swallow my laughter. This can’t be real. “Not that I know him well, but I think RJ’d rather gag on a toilet brush. He doesn’t seem like the sporty type.”
“I don’t fucking know what Coach is thinking.” Silas sighs. “Part of me wonders if this is a desperate move to have someone in his back pocket in case Lawson bails altogether. But RJ? The guy’s not a team player. Hell, he doesn’t even want friends.”
“Yeah, so, speaking of which…” I hadn’t planned to mention anything, but since Silas brought him up, I’m dying to get some perspective on the situation. “We went out last night.”
“Wait, huh?” Silas squints against the sun, holding his hand over his face. “You’re talking about RJ?”
Something in his voice makes me self-conscious. “Yeah. No big deal or whatever. We went to the bar.” I pause. “We sort of hooked up.”
He seems almost confused, cocking his head at me. “Really?”
“Well, no, not that far. We made out in the corner to a terrible cover band.”
“Okay…”
Wary, Silas continues walking in silence. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I don’t have a great read yet on how the other guys rate RJ. Well, other than they all think he’s an anti-social shut-in who may or may not have a criminal record across six states. Casey said Fenn was talking about sweeping the dorm for FBI bugs, and I think he might be only half joking.
“I know,” I say awkwardly. “He’s not my usual type. The whole apathetic bad boy thing gets tired. But also, in a weird way I wonder if we’re too much alike?”
After all, we can’t both be the bitchy one who won’t make conversation at parties. So guarded we’d rather keep everyone at arm’s length than risk the disaster of someone figuring out who we really are.
Silas gives me half a nod to say he’s following, but doesn’t offer a pity laugh.
“Seriously. We’re similar, no? In theory.”
“Sure. You’ve got two people who don’t really like people,” he answers to prove he’s listening.
“That’s stupid, right? A straw house in a tornado.”
There’s a beat. “But you like him.”
“I don’t not like him.”
Let’s not get carried away, after all. It was a good kiss. Several good kisses. Okay, fine, it was more than good. I completely lost my head last night. I got lost in the heat of his mouth and the hungry sweep of his hands on my lower back, caught up in the shocking excitement of realizing that, oh shit, I might be into this guy.
If I didn’t have any self-control, I could see a version of last night that ended with condom wrappers. The fact that RJ is hot is not in dispute. We have some sick sort of chemistry that I don’t totally understand. But it was opening up to him about my mom that’s been weighing on me since I woke up this morning. I’ve never told anyone that story, least of all on a first date. Duke and I never had the deep conversations, but that was the point. No one dates a guy like Duke—brash and boisterous—because they want to stay up late trading traumas. He was a good time and didn’t push my boundaries. Kept it fun and on the surface where it’s simple.
RJ, he’s complicated. I know if I go down this road, I’m not going to like everything I find. About either of us. Not to mention it’s going back on the one promise I made myself for this year. Eye on the prize and no distractions. I don’t want to be one of those girls who give up on themselves to chase a boy.
And yet there’s this compulsion. A completely irrational need to see what happens.