Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 86199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
I wince, hating how butthurt that came out sounding.
If I could snatch the words from the air, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
But that’s not possible.
They’re out there, demanding acknowledgment.
His brows knit as he frowns before glancing up to meet my gaze. “I didn’t think you had a problem with us being together.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Why does everything need to be spelled out?
I huff out an irritated breath and try to wrap my brain around my thoughts in order to express them. “I don’t.”
Well, not really.
When he remains silent, I blurt, “Guess I didn’t expect that you’d drop me like a bad habit. The only time we see each other is on the ice.”
Heat stings my cheeks as I glance away.
Now I really do sound like a needy bitch, and that’s the last thing I want.
I squeeze my eyes tightly closed and suck in a deep breath before expelling it from my body. This whole talking-about-my-feelings thing sucks even more than I assumed it would. But I’m knee deep in it. The only thing I can do at this point is wade all the way in before reaching the other side.
And who knows? Maybe the guy who’s always been my best friend will be nothing more than my sister’s boyfriend.
The sadness that floods my system at that thought is more anguishing than a gunshot wound.
“Look, I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I really am happy for you and Juliette. In hindsight, I should have seen what was right in front of my face and realized that you two had feelings for one another.” I jerk my shoulders. “Maybe I just didn’t want to see it. Maybe deep down inside I knew on some level that everything would change between us.”
Ryder blinks as he stares at me like I just sprouted a horn on my forehead. “I…” His voice fades as he glances away with a frown.
Well, fuck.
I’ve just bared my damn soul to this guy, and he’s at a total loss for words.
He can’t even look at me.
I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole.
There is definitely no coming back from this.
Even though guys are joking and talking shit in the locker room, it doesn’t infiltrate the bubble of silence that has settled over us.
Just when I’m about to tell him to forget the conversation, he mumbles, “I’m sorry. I had no idea you felt that way. I wish you’d said something sooner about it. I hate that you’ve been holding all this inside. I promise I’ll make more of an effort to hang out.” His lips quirk as he tosses his skates into the locker and meets my gaze. “Like we used to.”
Air leaks from my lungs as my heart pounds a steady tattoo against my chest. Inside, I’m fist pumping. Outwardly, I jerk my head into a nonchalant nod. “Yeah, that would be cool.”
“Whatever it takes, we’ll get it figured out.”
After a few minutes, I clear my throat. “It’s not like I don’t want you spending time with my sister.”
“Yeah, I know.” His voice turns pensive. “Guess I didn’t realize we’d gotten so wrapped up in one another that we were excluding our friends. It’s something we should probably talk about.” He jerks his chin toward me before smiling. “Who knows, maybe once you iron out everything with Willow, the four of us can go out sometime.”
That’s all it takes for thoughts of her to crash over me again.
I drag a hand through my sweat-soaked hair. “Yeah… I’m not sure what will happen with that.”
For all I know, we’re over before we ever really started.
That thought is like an arrow piercing my heart. The pain of it is almost enough to have me doubling over.
His voice gentles. “Have you talked to her about what happened at the bar?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Why not? From what I saw, it seemed like she really meant something to you.”
“She did.” I wince and correct myself. “I mean, she does.”
More than anyone else has in a long time.
Maybe more than anyone else ever has.
He jerks a brow. “But?”
“The situation is…complicated.”
His expression turns curious. “How come?”
I roll my eyes. “I think we both know the answer to that one. In three words—River fucking Thompson.”
He shrugs. “I know you hate the dude, but what does that have to do with Willow?” His eyes search mine. “One of the reasons I stayed away from Jules for so long is because I knew you wouldn’t like it. But it got to a point where I couldn’t let our friendship stand in the way of something that could be amazing. If you really care about this girl, then don’t let your issues with River be what stops you.”
He’s not wrong.
I stare down at my hands. “There’s the other thing,” I mumble, unable to meet his eyes.