Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
I shook my head. "No, Meghan. Not with the kids and everything else you guys have going on–”
Megan sent me a lightly scolding look, shutting me up. I sighed, knowing I was going to lose this argument with her. "You need to talk to them–tonight, Ally," Meghan added, her voice stern. I sighed again. I was just so tired. My anxiety attacks drained me, and I just wanted to sleep. "Trying to deal with this on your own is going to make everything worse, Ally. You need to talk to them and let them handle this."
Julian leaned over the back of the couch and pressed a kiss to Meghan's forehead. My heart ached with that familiar longing for someone to love me as much as Julian and Axel loved Meghan.
"Talk to us about what, babe?" he asked her.
"Go get Axel," she told him.
He frowned down at her, his eyes running over her face for a moment before he went in search of my brother. My heart began to thump wildly in my chest, and nausea swirled in my gut. I wasn’t ready to talk about this.
Meghan squeezed my hand, drawing my eyes back to her. "Remember that I'm right here by your side, Ally. You don't have anything to fear. We all love you. Remember that," she soothed.
I drew in a deep, shaky breath. It wasn't that simple because though Axel was sweet and understanding, when it came to family, both he and Julian could become absolute monsters.
I watched as Axel took a seat in the recliner in the living room. He still had his slacks and his crisp, white, button-down shirt on, not yet having changed out of his clothes from work. He was a therapist–specifically a trauma therapist. He was damn good at what he did–one of the most highly recommended therapists in the state.
I wanted to be half as good of a person as he was one day.
Julian sat on the loveseat, his body angled toward us. I nervously looked at Meghan. She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Tell them the truth, Ally–everything. You’re not burdening them,” she promised.
I drew in a deep shaky breath, looking at my older brother. His brown eyes were soft and gentle as he waited on me to speak. I swallowed nervously. “I’ve had five anxiety attacks in the past two weeks,” I informed them, my voice quiet and shaky.
“Jesus Christ,” Julian swore as he leaned forward in his chair, his blue eyes intent on mine. “Why the fuck didn’t you come to one of us, Ally?” he asked me. Tears burned in my eyes. “You know I would have never judged you.” he reminded me, his tone a bit gentler. “I’ve seen you in some of your weakest moments.”
I knew that, too. For years, he kept the secret of me cutting myself with the condition that I promised him I would never cut myself again.
I drew in a shaky breath. “I didn’t want to burden you guys,” I choked out. “I was trying to deal with it. I can’t lean on you three forever.”
“Like hell you can’t,” Axel told me. I turned my eyes to him. “We are your family, Ally. None of us sitting in this room with you are going to turn our backs on you. We love you, Ally. You should have called one of us when you had the first anxiety attack.”
I looked down at the blanket. “That’s not all,” I said quietly. Julian softly growled. “My ex tried contacting me a couple of weeks ago.”
“Fucking hell!” Julian snapped as he jumped up from the chair. Axel stood up as well, his eyes murderous.
Almost three years ago, I’d caught my ex cheating on me with a girl from school–and not just any girl, but his stepsister. She and I had actually started becoming really good friends. She had been the first real girlfriend I’d had in a long, long time.
But I wanted to surprise her on her birthday, and instead, I found my boyfriend–her stepbrother–balls deep inside of her.
I’d gone home and swallowed my antidepressants to try to kill myself.
Randall, my ex, had told everyone that I had lied, and it had instead been his twin brother. Whereas Randall did have a twin, they weren’t identical twins.
I knew what I had seen that day.
Axel, Julian, and Meghan had all believed me when I told them what happened, and after showing them pictures of Randall and his brother, Max, there was no doubt. Randall had been the one sleeping with Heather.
They were together now with a two-year-old little girl and another baby on the way. The text I had received had been of their family, and he had asked me to come to their baby shower so we could all reconnect, claiming Heather missed me.
“What the fuck did he send to you?” Axel demanded.