Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Lilly just stares at Gracen and I’m not sure she’s comprehending. Gracen’s eyes slide over to me and I nod of reassurance. She’s doing way better than I ever could.
Gracen shifts a little in the chair, cuddles closer to Lilly. She reaches her arm around Lilly’s back in a protective cocoon. “You see, Marek and I used to be very good friends. And we made you together out of a whole lot of love. So he’s your daddy and I’m your mommy.”
Fuck. I swallow hard against the emotion. We made you from a whole lot of love.
I lock my jaw down hard and grit my teeth against the feelings bombarding me. It all comes rushing back…just how much Gracen and I loved each other.
My eyes focus on Lilly. Of all the questions I expect her to ask…
Where has he been all this time?
Why didn’t you tell me before?
Will we live here forever?
Will he be my daddy now forever?
Does he love me?
She floors me when she looks at Gracen with the utmost seriousness and asks, “Are you going to marry him?”
Gracen doesn’t even look to me for guidance. Her answer is immediate and swift. “No, honey. Your daddy and I are only friends who both love you very much. We’re both going to take care of you and help you to grow up to be such a big girl. And I know this is hard to understand, but I’m really sorry you didn’t know he was your daddy before. Mommy should have told you a long time ago and it was wrong of me—”
Okay, can’t fucking stand that shit anymore. I cut in right over Gracen, making my voice heard for the first time since we sat down. I call her name to get her attention, “Lilly.”
Her head turns to me, blue eyes just like mine looking at me with some confusion but mostly an eagerness to understand. I have no clue if these words are right for her because I’ve never had a serious talk with a toddler before, but they seem right to me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you before. I had to go away and leave you and your mommy for my job. But we’re together now and I will be a good daddy. I promise.”
Gracen’s head turns away and she looks out the window. Her fingers rub against Lilly’s lower back.
“Your mommy and I are trying to get things figured out,” I continue, since I have her attention. I figure she’s understanding only about half my words, but I need to get them out. “But we both want you to be happy and we’re going to work hard to make that so.”
At this point I’d cue dramatic music and Lilly would scramble off Gracen’s lap to launch herself into my arms. I didn’t realize I craved something like that until just this very moment. I can almost even hear the music in my ears, but then there’s the proverbial sudden scratch of a needle on an album.
Lilly turns to gaze at Gracen, who looks from the window back to her daughter with a bright smile even though I can tell it doesn’t fully reach her eyes.
“Mommy…can I watch some more Paw Patrol?” Lilly asks, and my jaw drops.
Seriously? The kid just found out she has a daddy who’s not going to be that douche Owen, and she wants to watch Paw Patrol?
“Sure, baby,” Gracen says, and pushes up out of the chair. She turns to set Lilly back down into it and grabs the remote to aim at the TV.
I stand from the couch, watching as Lilly becomes completely engrossed in some stupid show where dogs drive fire trucks and fly helicopters.
Gracen walks past me toward the kitchen, but I snag her elbow and pull her into the formal room.
“What the hell—” I start to say, then realize that Lilly can probably hear me despite the fact I’m fiercely holding to a whisper level.
I pull Gracen into my bedroom and shut the door.
“What the hell?” I say again, this time in my normal voice. “You’re just going to let her watch TV? What if she has questions? What if she doesn’t understand what we just said to her? I mean, does she even really understand that I’m her father?”
My hackles rise as Gracen’s eyes pin me with what can only be deemed as pity. “Marek, she doesn’t understand. She probably only picked up a minimum of that message. When and if she has questions, she’ll ask them, and we need to be ready to answer.”
“If she only picked up a minimum, then we—”
Gracen pulls her arm out of my hand. I hadn’t realized I’d still been holding on to her. I jerk from the contact when she instead takes my hand and gives is a reassuring squeeze.