Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90672 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90672 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Tension knots up in my chest at the flashes of being questioned by social workers and attorneys.
“Before they divorced, we celebrated holidays, but it always seemed to annoy Dad. After he got custody and we moved in with his new girlfriend, there wasn’t anything. Not even my birthday. Then she got pregnant, they got married, and it was clear he finally had the child he really wanted. I was the mistake. I was nothing and nobody to him.”
“Brad,” Luke says, his voice full of concern as he grips my hand tighter.
For once in my fucking life, it feels like a relief to talk about this shit. Maybe that’s why I can’t fucking stop. “I tried to get out of that house. I snuck away to see Mom from time to time, and each time, he got worse. Told me I was her child and just as worthless. That I’d never amount to anything. I could see the disdain in his eyes every time he looked at me, wishing he could get rid of me, but keeping me from Mom was a cruel torture for both of us.”
“I’m so sorry, Brad,” Luke says, turning his hand and interlocking his fingers with mine.
I was so lost in the telling of my past that I hardly noticed the blur in my eyes and the warmth sliding down my cheeks. I consider turning away from him, but now that I’ve shared so much, I don’t want to. Wild to think I didn’t want him to know any of this, and suddenly, I want him to see me. All of me.
But as I see the warmth in his expression, I spit out, “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t deserve sympathy, Luke. Not after what I’ve done.”
“What you’ve done?”
My chin trembles. “Yes. Luke, I’ve done something terrible.”
He tilts his head, seeming surprised to hear this.
Maybe that’s because I’ve gotten so good at hiding my sin, even from myself.
I don’t have to tell him more. I could leave it there with him feeling sympathy for me, but I don’t want to lie.
Not to him.
Not anymore.
17
LUKE
A searing pain burns like fire within me. I can’t believe what Brad just shared. I cringe when he uses the word dad to describe this bastard. But just as soon as Brad pulled at my heartstrings, now I can’t help but be suspicious. Done something horrible? What has he done?
He doesn’t leave me in suspense, getting right to the point. “After I graduated from high school, I connected with Mom again. And she’s the same woman she’s always been. Loving, caring. She welcomed me back into her life effortlessly, and my dad refused to see me after my ‘betrayal.’ But life has a real fucked-up way of giving you so much only to take something else away because Mom had been diagnosed with MS…multiple sclerosis.”
As if his tragic past wasn’t bad enough.
“You know what that is?”
I nod. “A little.”
“Shaking. Seizures. Terrible, crippling pain. Mom’s progressed quickly. And it’s hard knowing that the person you finally have back in your life is already slipping from your grasp.”
As he says the words, it’s hard to imagine how he could think any of this means something terrible about him. But I’m quiet, wait for him to go on.
“Remember when I told you we each had our reasons for fucking around with our powers from the Rift?”
“Yeah.”
“When we found out about the Sinners, and Cody convinced me this stuff actually worked, I thought I could find a way to use it to help her. A spell or something. Cody has some healing abilities, but we’ve learned those have their limitations. Then a few months after realizing what my own powers were, I discovered that if I visited Mom, her pain and symptoms would be gone for weeks. When she would go to the doctors, they would be shocked by things they saw, like parts of her brain healing that shouldn’t be. It’s not some miracle cure. Only gives her a few weeks of relief before she gets symptoms again, but if I make a quick visit, she’s fine again. It’s not something I can control. It just happens. Either from her being around me or maybe because it’s something I want so deeply, part of me is doing it without consciously being aware of how, like what happens with you.”
I would have expected him to share that with enthusiasm or hope, but his words are filled with dread.
“That’s good, right?” Even as I say it, I fear I know where this is going.
His gaze narrows as he glances at me. “It gave me hope that I could cure her. The Sinners’ bible mentions the Guides who helped them unlock the Rift’s secrets. I thought if we contacted them, maybe they could help my mom. Permanently. The bible mentions evil beings we might encounter in the Rift, and that we’d need to be able to guard against them. I knew we weren’t ready, but I pushed. When we went under, we came across one of those beings. We all felt it. And we had to stop. It lurked near the opening of the Rift. We didn’t expect something would get through, but then Cody started having visions, and we discovered something was going to break into our world and hunt people. That’s why initially we thought you were going to be one of its victims…before we knew about your powers.”