Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 88080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“Maybe I just need space.”
He frowns, giving me one of his usual wounded looks that typically guilts me. I’m too upset today to let it affect me. I look down at my desk, waiting for him to start the test. He lets out a heavy sigh and sits in his desk chair. Slowly, he rolls it over to me until he’s right next to me, his knee brushing against my thigh.
“Roux…”
“Just give me the test.”
He’s silent for a beat. “Fuck. I’m sorry, okay?”
“It’s fine,” I say, “just give me the test. Roan is waiting for me.”
Reaching forward, he takes my hand in his. “Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry. I fucked up, okay?” He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckle. “Let me fix this. Fix us.”
I tug my hand from his grip. “Wes, we’re not an us. You’re my friend. But friends don’t hold each other hostage.”
His face crumples. “I fucked up. Roux, I’m sorry.”
“Just give me the test—”
“Fuck the test,” he snaps, taking my hand again. “You can have an A. I don’t give a shit. I just want to see your smile again. I don’t want you pissed at me.”
I squirm, uncomfortable with the intensity rolling off him. “Wes, can I go?”
“No,” he barks out. I flinch at his word. His gaze softens as he tenderly strokes my hand with his thumb. “I mean, please don’t leave when you’re mad.”
“You’re freaking me out,” I whisper, my heart in my throat.
“Hey,” he croons as he stands. “You never have to be afraid of me.”
I’m pulled into his arms and he squeezes me tight. I’m stiff and my heart thunders in my chest. When he nuzzles my hair, it’s not like when Jordy does it. This chills my blood. He pets my hair like I’m a kitten. Like I’m his. Teacher’s little pet, I suppose.
“Can I go now?”
“No.”
I swallow hard, blinking back tears. “Please.”
“No.” He sighs. “I feel like because I fucked up, now you’re going to shut yourself off from me. I can’t…I can’t lose you, Roux.”
I’m not yours.
“I’ll text you later,” I say, my voice shaking with my lie.
“You’re lying,” he whispers back.
I close my eyes, swallowing down a terrified sob.
“Shh,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Let me fix it. I’m just having a bad day. Text Roan and tell him you have a ride. I’ll take you to dinner or a movie. We can just relax and hang out.” He kisses the top of my head. “Or I could take you to my place. I have more poetry books there.” He laughs. “And coffee.”
“Maybe another day,” I breathe.
“No,” he whines. “Today. Please, Roux. I feel myself losing you and I can’t. I can’t lose you.”
His fingers thread into my hair and he tightens his grip, tugging me until I’m forced to look up at him. The guy really is broken up about this. He looks seconds from crying. Guilt assaults me, but fear of his erratic behavior is driving my emotions right now. He rubs his nose against mine and then softly kisses my lips. When I start to pull away, his grip tightens. A whimper of fear escapes me—one he gently kisses away.
“I need assurance we’re not over,” he pleads, his mouth ghosting over my trembling lips.
“We’re not over,” I rush out. “I just want to go home.”
“You’ll text me later?”
I nod, more tears cascading down my cheeks. He kisses them away.
“I don’t fall for my students,” he murmurs. “You’re just different, Roux. You get me in a way no one else does.”
I don’t get this.
I don’t understand him right now.
“I’ll text you later,” I say. “I swear.”
And I will. Anything to get me out of here.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “Do you forgive me for acting like an idiot?”
“Mmhmm.”
He gives me a boyish grin. “Thank God.” He laughs. “I was freaking the fuck out.”
I force a small smile. “You can calm down now. Everything is fine.”
“It probably needed to happen,” he says with a sigh. “To take us to the next level.”
“Maybe,” I choke out.
His eyes flash as he kisses my lips again. “This weekend tell Roan you’re staying with a friend. I’ll take you someplace fun. We can have dinner and go out. Then, later, I’ll show you how much you mean to me.”
“Okay.”
“It’s a date,” he says, beaming. “Great job on the test. You aced it.”
I try not to grimace. My heart aches at the realization I’ve lost yet another friend. “Thanks.”
I manage to pull away from his arms to grab my bag and purse. He waits by the door, blocking my path.
“It’s so hard having to stare at you every day, Roux, and not obsess over you. You’re so fucking beautiful and smart and caring. If I weren’t your teacher, I would’ve publicly claimed you already.”