Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“What is what?”
“You’ve been off every day I’ve seen you lately,” he said. “Is it depression?” he asked. “You need to talk to someone? Get on some meds? I think Dusty could recommend someone,” he said, meaning the wife of Ryan Mallick, who struggled with anxiety and agoraphobia.
“No, I’m not depressed,” I said.
“Is it restlessness? I know you’re used to always being on the go. Having yourself anchored here for this long getting to you?”
“No,” I said, surprised to find I actually meant that.
Sure, there were times when I hopped on my laptop and looked around at new places to travel, or festivals I might want to head to someday.
But I noticed that was less and less lately.
Actually, lately, I’d caught myself researching other shit. Like if there was any training you needed to become a surfing coach. What kind of licensing you would need to open a paddleboarding, wakeboarding, kite and wind surfing, or water skiing business.
Hell, I even spent hours looking into real estate on the water for an eventual business location, a home base for a career that I never really could have ever known I might be interested in.
I always knew, of course, that someday, I would need a plan for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t be able to do extreme sports forever, which would mean the money from my videos would dry up eventually.
I had to have a plan.
Because while I’d paid off the house, I would always have bills and shit to worry about.
I guess I figured I might always just take a job up at Kingston’s security firm more permanently.
The thing was, it wasn’t something I was interested in. I could do it. I’d done it a lot in the past. But wouldn’t it be better to have a career you were actually passionate about?
And what would be more rewarding than helping stoke a curiosity in water sports in the next generation? Or even just in people who had always wanted to learn, but had been too hindered by fear?
People like AJ.
Who admitted they craved adventure, but had simply never stepped out of their comfort zones.
Slowly but surely, over the past few days, a plan had started forming in my mind.
Was it in my immediate future? No.
I was going to need more capital to get shit going. Which meant I needed to get back out in the world, do more exploring, make more videos.
But it was on my radar now.
It was part of a five and ten-year plan.
And, what’s more, I was actually kind of excited about it.
I had a whole list written down of various ‘schools’ I wanted to attend in different countries, wanting to learn from people who’d been instructing for years or decades, then take that information and file it away for when I wanted to give that a go with my own life.
“Really?” King asked, looking both surprised and the slightest bit hopeful.
I knew it killed him that I wasn’t around, that I didn’t seem to want to be around.
A part of me wanted to tell him about my plans for the future. But until I was sure it was going to happen, I didn’t want to get his hopes up.
“Yeah. It’s been nice to be here. Seeing everyone.”
I wasn’t just saying that, either.
The more time I spent with my siblings, in-laws, and the kids, the more I wanted to spend time with them.
That was what I always knew would happen. And part of why I spent such little time in Navesink Bank. Because I knew the longer I stayed, the harder it would be to leave. And I’d never been ready to set down roots.
Now, though?
Now, I was thinking of it.
And as much as I couldn’t admit this aloud—could barely admit it to myself—a part of that was absolutely because of AJ.
As much as I loved my brothers’ wives, I never really understood why they would rather be with just one woman than out being single, and getting to know many women.
Not until I found myself in the house with AJ. And her silly puzzles. Her great cooking. The way she carefully mixed several different kinds of bird food, so she could cater to all of the local birds. How she apologized to the squirrels if she didn’t throw peanuts out for them at their scheduled time. Listening to her sing to herself as she cleaned. Watching her interact with Samson, or talk about all the dogs at work.
I just… I don’t know… I got it now.
Because I still wasn’t sick of her.
In fact, it was making me really fucking crazy that she was avoiding me when I definitely wanted more of her.
“Atlas, like I get that you’re on your own all the time and used to not talking to people about shit, but…” Kingston trailed off, exhaling hard. “We used to talk about everything.”