Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 36132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 145(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 145(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
“Me?” Alexander said. “If anything, I should be the one asking that question.” Damn it. He shouldn’t have said that. Jared didn’t want Gabriel to know.
But there was no trace of confusion in Gabriel’s face. Gabriel averted his gaze.
Alexander’s eyes narrowed. He studied the guy.
“You know,” he said as realization dawned on him. “You know, don’t you?”
Gabriel nodded, still not looking at him.
“If you know, then let him go.”
“It’s not that simple,” Gabriel said tersely.
“It’s very simple. He loves you, you know it and still make him watch you with your girlfriend. Don’t you give a shit about him at all?”
“You don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t,” Alexander said, his voice hard. “I’ll tell Jared you know.”
Gabriel grabbed his arm. “Don’t you dare,” he growled, green eyes flashing. His expression transformed completely, something ruthless and ugly lurking in his gaze. “If you do that, I’ll make sure he’ll never talk to you again, got it? I can do that. If he has to choose, he’ll always pick me, not his cousin. He’s mine.”
Alexander stared. Appearances could certainly be deceiving. Cute, innocent kid? Right. “Does he know what a selfish piece of shit you are?”
Gabriel laughed, as if he’d said something funny. “Jared knows me better than anyone. He’s seen me at my worst.” Something like wonder or perhaps embarrassment appeared on his face. “I’m not a very good person, but he loves me anyway. I’m not giving him up. Ever.”
Alexander shook his head slowly. “Don’t you see how cruel it is? Don’t you care? It’s breaking him.”
His jaw tightening, Gabriel dropped his gaze. “I know,” he whispered hoarsely. “I hate hurting him, but I just—I can’t let go, okay? He’s… I owe him my career. I owe him everything I am now.” He turned away to look out the window. “I went from being a poor nobody from an orphanage to a star footballer who makes two hundred thousand pounds a week. I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I shouldn’t need him anymore.” He paused. When he spoke again, his voice was full of resentment. “But I do. And I hate this—this emotional dependency and constant craving his attention and approval. I never depended on anyone emotionally until him—I never had anyone to depend on. I hate all these emotions, hate being scared he’ll get sick of me and leave, you know?” Gabriel smiled crookedly, shaking his head. “Of course you don’t get it. No one gets it.”
“I get it,” Alexander said. “Better than you think.”
Gabriel shot him a skeptical look. “Really? You feel that way, too?”
“Well, not that way exactly. I’m nowhere as messed up as you are.”
“Thanks,” Gabriel said. “So what’s the problem? I guess there’s a woman?”
“A man,” Alexander said. For some reason, it was easy to talk about it to Gabriel. Probably because this kid was far more fucked up than he was.
“Huh,” Gabriel said and muttered something that sounded like “must run in the family.” “So what about the guy? He doesn’t want you back?” Gabriel frowned. “Though it’s unlikely if he’s gay.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Gabriel snorted a laugh. “Don’t you own a mirror? You look a lot like Jared, and Jared is very handsome. Pretty much everyone at our football club is in love with him.”
But not you.
“Anyway, what about that guy?” Gabriel said.
“I want him.”
“Eh, and that’s a problem…why?”
Alexander looked out of the windshield, staring through the heavy snowfall.
“Wait, when you say ‘I want him,’ do you mean you want to hold his hand and smooch him to death or do you mean—”
“I mean everything.” Alexander thought of Christian’s face, his plump lips, and that goddamn smile, the curve of his neck, his little dark nipples, his thighs, his strong legs wrapped around him, his tightness, his heat, his dark eyes—
Alexander smiled self-deprecatingly, feeling his dick twitch. “And I mean everything. From gazing at him sappily to wanting to rub my come into his skin and make him stink of me inside and out.”
“Um,” Gabriel said. “Too much information, mate.”
Alexander looked at him. “You do realize Jared probably has less than pure thoughts when he looks at you, right?”
Gabriel flushed and fidgeted, biting his lip. “I try not to think about it.”
“You should,” Alexander said, his voice harder. “He’s not the parent you never had. He’s not your older brother. He’s not a monk. He’s a healthy man in his prime. If you love him as much as you claim to, you’ll stop being a selfish little shit and let him go.”
Gabriel’s bright eyes dulled immediately. “I can’t.”
Alexander heaved a sigh. “Are you sure you aren’t even a little into guys? I used to think I was completely straight.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Men do nothing for me.” He looked at his fingers and said hoarsely, “You know, I’m glad I’m not gay. If I’m this needy and dependent when I don’t want him physically, I don’t even want to think what a clingy wreck I would be if I wanted him that way. I probably wouldn’t let him out of my sight.”