Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
“No. I would not have.”
“Why?” She cocks her head.
“For the same reason we’re standing here instead of sitting on a private jet. Things like love and lust aren’t always choices. They’re emotions. But commitment is one hundred percent a choice.”
Scottie does her headshake to brush her bangs away from her eyes. “Yet, when we were standing in the bedroom minutes before I committed myself to Koen, you offered me something.” Her eyes narrow. “And I don’t think it was a joke. Why now?”
I rub the back of my neck, staring at my brown leather dress shoes, perfectly polished for the occasion. “I don’t know if I can make my wife happy and beat this cancer. She thinks I’m a miracle. And maybe I am. But I think it will take a lot more miracles for me to keep living.” Blowing out a long breath, I lift my gaze to Scottie. “I’m struggling with it. And I hate that it was easier to live, in the most literal sense, when we weren’t together, but it was. She can’t see how desperate and vulnerable I feel. And I’m afraid to show her because I feel guilty for …”
“Having cancer? Doing what you felt you needed to survive?”
I nod slowly. “I feel so weak and … lost.”
Scottie fiddles with her wedding band. “If I would have said yes, would we be on that plane right now?”
It takes a few seconds for my thoughts to shift back to my “proposal.” I know the answer, but I don’t know if she’s ready for it. As soon as I doubt her ability to handle the truth, my conscience nudges me to wake up. She’s not Amelia. Scottie can handle the truth.
“Yes,” I whisper.
Tears well in her eyes despite her soft smile and shaky inhale. Lifting her dress again, she takes two steps toward me, and her free hand reaches for mine. “You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need anyone to live. You said it yourself: commitment is a choice. If you must choose between your life and a life with Amelia, even if it’s shortened, there is no wrong choice.” She releases my hand, ghosting her fingers along my palm, gazing at our hands. “Whatever you decide, it will be the bravest decision you’ve ever made.”
No man has ever been luckier in love. The women I've loved—and will always love—have bestowed upon me everything beautiful and worthwhile in my life.
“We’d better get back,” I whisper.
“You go ahead. I need a minute.”
As I step past her, I press my hand to her stomach.
Her breath hitches.
“If it’s a boy, Price and Henry are great names.”
I take the next step before she can cover my hand with hers.
And the next.
And I keep going even if I don’t know where this will lead or how long I’ll be there.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
A SACRED INTIMACY.
Scottie
My heart has never felt this full.
Filled with love and hope—and a little bit of sadness.
Just before midnight, the last few guests (our parents) pull out of the driveway, leaving us alone for the first time in two days.
“Thank you,” Koen says.
After a final wave, I turn toward him, his suit jacket draped over my shoulders. “For what?”
“Marrying me.”
I take his hand and place it on my stomach. “Thank you for this life. Even if I’m a little terrified of losing it.”
“Or you could just be elated that by this time next year, we’ll be sleep-deprived and obsessed with our tiny human.”
My arms snake around his neck. “I like your idea the best.”
He scoops me up, stealing my breath. “Time to carry you over the threshold, Mrs. Scottie Sikes.”
I giggle while he hauls me into the house; my sandals fall off my feet before we reach the bedroom. His gaze snags on my ankle as he sets me on the bed.
“Is that your something blue?”
I pull my knee to my chest and unhook the anklet. “I suppose it is. Price gave it to me. It’s blue sodalite for tranquility and emotional balance. He bought a blue sodalite from the apothecary the summer we met. I told him it was a butt plug; then he told me it was a gift for his parents’ anniversary. Also, a lie.”
Koen chuckles, taking the anklet from me and inspecting it before setting it on the nightstand. “I’m glad he and Amelia made it.” He offers me his hand, pulling me to my feet. “He’s a miracle.” With gentle hands, he reaches behind me and slowly unzips my dress. “Not as miraculous as my wife.” With a grin, he ducks his head and kisses my jaw to my ear and down my neck while my dress pools at my feet, leaving me in white lace underwear and a sea of goosebumps.
“I couldn’t breathe, Scottie,” he murmurs, fingers whispering over my skin, one hand sliding into the back of my underwear. “Seeing you for the first time today, I couldn’t breathe.”