Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Sex with Josh was everything I’d imagined it to be. Actually, it was more—worth every second of the slow torture leading up to it. The way he’d taken control of my body was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. But as amazing as last night had been, a cloud of reality hung over me today.
Josh had gotten up early with Scottie. I suspected he might have volunteered himself for that task to avoid having to talk about what we’d done. That seemed to be his MO. I hoped he didn’t think I had any expectations. I was smart enough not to allow my heart to go there. Our bodies simply hadn’t been able to resist anymore. It was nothing more than mind-blowing, primal sex. I’d accepted that, bittersweet as it was. Just sex. At least that’s what I needed to continue convincing myself as a survival mechanism.
Somehow, I needed to assure Josh that last night didn’t change anything. If he felt pressured—or worse, riddled with guilt—it was going to be very difficult to get through the rest of our time here. We needed each other and couldn’t afford to feel awkward twenty-four-seven.
Even though Josh and Scottie bathed at night more often than not, I could hear the water running in the bathroom. Maybe Josh felt dirty after last night.
I dragged myself up, figuring I had a little time alone before I had to face him.
Scottie emerged from the bathroom first. His hair was damp, and he smelled like some kind of aftershave. “Morning, buddy,” I called from the kitchen. Per usual, he ignored me.
I was going to need a shower soon myself. Josh and I had sex three times last night before we finally passed out. I probably got four hours’ sleep.
“Morning,” Josh said from behind me.
My hand stilled on the coffee machine before I turned around to face him. Just the sound of his deep voice made me quiver.
God, I loved every second of last night.
He wore nothing but jeans. My eyes fell to his shirtless chest, his body another reminder of all the ways he’d entered me. Another reminder because the biggest was the fact that I was sore between my legs. I already wanted him again, and that was going to be a recurring problem now that I knew what it was like to have him.
“Good morning.” I cleared my throat. “You decided to shower early, I see?”
“Actually, Scottie was super sweaty when he got up. I think he might have a fever, so I gave him a shower to try to cool him off.”
I walked over to the couch to feel Scottie’s forehead. “Jeez. You’re right. He does feel warm.”
“I looked for a thermometer, but I couldn’t find one,” Josh said.
“There’s one in the cupboard next to Wayne’s old vitamins.” I went to fetch it.
Thankfully, it was the kind you just swipe over the forehead because I didn’t think Scottie would let us put anything in his mouth. The thermometer beeped when it finished, and he did have a slight fever.
“Poor guy,” I said, facing the number toward Josh.
“I’ll go get some medicine for him.” Josh threw a shirt over his head and found his coat.
It seemed he couldn’t wait to escape. Scottie did need to take something for his fever, but I got the impression Josh needed some air before we faced the inevitable discussion about what last night meant—or didn’t mean.
“How can we get him to swallow ibuprofen?” I asked.
Josh scratched his head. “I remember Wayne used to get him the liquid kind and sneak it into juice. You know, the kind made for kids. It’s better than nothing.”
“Okay.”
“You need anything while I’m out?”
You not to act weird? “No, I’m good.” I smiled.
“Okay… Be back.”
Later, when Josh returned with Scottie’s cherry-flavored medicine and some Gatorade to hide it in, we worked together to figure out the right dosage. Josh’s close presence wasn’t lost on me as he leaned over my shoulder to read the small-print directions. I tried hard to control my physical reaction, which was worse than ever after last night. I’d never had orgasms so intense. I’d never been so lost in someone.
And yes, that realization certainly made me feel even more guilty. Brad was the love of my life, and that experience should have been his. It wasn’t, though—it belonged to Josh. And if I were truly honest, as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, my heart was also starting to belong to Josh. Or at least whatever part of my heart hadn’t been buried with Brad.
But I knew what Josh could handle, and it didn’t include me falling for him that way. He had too much unresolved guilt when it came to his best friend. I wouldn’t be responsible for making that worse.
It was just sex. That would be my mantra.