Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 65354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Tori was as excited as I knew she would be. She was also wanting to know what was going on with Ryder. I was honest and told her I had no idea. Ryder told me the tickets would be under my name and that the seats were fantastic.
I wore jeans and a cashmere sweater in the burgundy color of the team, blushing as I brushed my lips in a matching shade. Tori came to pick me up wearing black leggings and a fitted turtleneck, looking me over with a smile.
The fans screamed as they announced the team. I watched as they skated out, doing a couple of laps around the ice before they shot some pucks into the net. I didn’t know anything about live sports, but the vibe was strong. Our seats were up a bit from the bench, and I took in the fantastic view from the center of the ice.
The game began, and it was plain to see how Ryder played. He was always there to check a guy into the boards and defend his net. He even got two penalties through the game and had a brief fight that was broken up swiftly by the referee.
He was aggressive out there. I had trouble separating the man who made me feel so good last night and the one here reminding every player on the other team whose ice they were on. I quietly watched as his team dominated the ice, and he assisted with the winning goal.
“Want to go to the bar? I know what they do after the games,” Tori told me with a knowing smile as we walked out to wait for them.
“I have to work early tomorrow. I’ll have enough trouble getting to sleep after all that excitement,” I smiled. “I can get a car home if you want to go.”
“I’ll take you home first,” she offered with a curious look. Tori knew that I wasn’t a party animal, but also that I was into Ryder. I was sure there would be questions later.
Once I was home, I paced the house before running a bath. I knew that there was aggression in the world that didn’t end in death. It wasn’t even the same kind that fueled what happened to my mother. I just couldn’t feel stable in Ryder’s world, and I walked to the bathroom to turn on the water for a bath. I left my phone in the kitchen and sank into the hot water and fragrant bubbles with a groan, hoping it brought me a fraction of the peace I needed. I closed my eyes and leaned back as I took a slow breath in, letting it out after a few seconds.
I was just a little girl when she died and was confused as to what happened. I was there, but in my room across the house. I remembered some screams, and then silence, as I ran to hide in my closet. Dad came home almost right after and found me, handing me off to a kind police officer who found my blue teddy bear and made me hot chocolate and sat at the table with me. The pity in her eyes was overwhelming as I worried my hands under the table.
I went to therapy after my mom died. It was only because my dad checked out and my aunt realized I needed help. It was an art therapist who worked with children and young adults. She managed to get me to talk about the incident and my feelings. We planned to get me through the harder times, and I saw her for a couple of years. At that point, I felt like I learned everything I needed to. I was functioning in my world, but I wouldn’t call it living; at least not entirely.
I used her techniques now as my heart raced. I imagined the game and the way Ryder sent players into the boards and even got into a fight with one. The other guy didn’t get hurt badly, but it was still hard to watch. I never saw what happened to Mom or her condition afterward, but I still woke up in a cold sweat to this day if I dreamed about it.
I stayed in the bath for a while and gave up when the water grew cold. I rose and dried myself off, washing my face before I pulled on leggings and a big T-shirt. I walked into my bedroom and braided my hair before I heard my phone ringing in the other part of the townhouse. I sighed and walked out to check it, seeing that there were texts from Tori and a couple of calls from Ryder. I wasn’t fucking ready to get into my past this soon, and I set it down. I shut the lights off and made sure the door was locked before going to my bedroom to hide under the covers.