Total pages in book: 14
Estimated words: 12901 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 65(@200wpm)___ 52(@250wpm)___ 43(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 12901 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 65(@200wpm)___ 52(@250wpm)___ 43(@300wpm)
But where I landed wasn’t much safer than where I’d left, so I spend days trying to get out of enemy territory. The thought of Alice, knowing she needed me, pushed me. Once I’d made it clear of the worst part, I had to somehow make my way back to civilization and get word back home without compromising my mission.
When I was finally able to get a message out, I was discovered by a local gang and then hunted for another few weeks. It was all kinds of fucked up, and I’m lucky to be alive. I hitched a ride with another crew that was sympathetic to my situation and got me stateside. My first call was to Alice before the military intercepted and gave me a safe channel to call Maggie. I was lucky to be alive, so they weren’t too excited about pressing charges for that.
After a long talk with my commanding officer we agreed that I’d more than served my country and done my duty on this mission. They expressed my paperwork and shipped me home, so now I’m no longer active in the military. No more missions, no more anything. I was retiring and I was damn happy about it. No more being taken away from the people I love most.
I got home, and seeing Maggie and Eli made me so happy. I was content they had both finally got what I’d known was coming. I knew Eli was perfect for her the moment he walked into her life. I was worried at first, but I knew Eli would always do the right thing. He wanted a family, and he’d do anything for the one we’d all been building together, even if at first we didn’t know that we had been doing it.
But there was a hole in my heart waiting to be filled, a missing part of me.
And it’s still waiting to be filled. I have to see her. I feel like I’m being ripped apart from the inside. I need my sweet girl to calm the feeling.
I’ve been driving all night, and I can’t find her. I went everywhere I could think of and still no sign of Alice. Panic is setting in, and it’s like nothing I had when I was in the jungle. The fear of losing Alice is far greater than the fear of something happening to me. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I push that thought away because I won’t be living without her. I will find her and drag her little ass back home, remind her where she belongs.
Fuck. I never should have left to begin with. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I know the kid whose place I took would have never made it out of that jungle, but fuck, my girl is missing, alone somewhere.
I grip the wheel tighter, thinking about her not being alone. I’d murder someone if they touched her. I let my bad thoughts get the best of me. No, she wouldn’t do that. Not my girl.
Finally when I loop back through town, an idea pops in my head. I drive out to the little shop I bought for her, thinking maybe she went there. It’s late by now, and I don’t know why she’d be there, but it’s the only other thing I can think of.
When I pull up to the front, I can see the glow of a light through the front window. I growl as I get out of my car and slam the door shut. When I walk up to the door, I grab the handle and see that it’s locked. At least she’s keeping herself somewhat safe.
I stomp around to the back of the building to see if there’s another way in. I shake my head in disbelief. Why did she take off? I told her I was okay and I was on my way home.
Hell, I told her I loved her, and I’ve gotten nothing but radio silence on that. I keep telling myself it’s okay though. She doesn’t have to say it back for it to mean anything. I know she cares about me. I know she loves me, even if she can’t form the words.
I’ll wait for her to say it back, and I won’t push. But she’ll hear it from me every damn day until the end of my life, if I have any say over it. She’s spent the first part of her life feeling unloved and neglected. I never want her to feel that way with me. I never want her to have even the smallest doubt about how I feel, and I will make sure she knows it. I never wanted to hide our relationship. She’s not a dirty secret I was trying to hide. Sure, I’m older than her, and she’s friends with my daughter. But she was legal before anything happened between us, and I’ve never been sorry for one second.