Total pages in book: 19
Estimated words: 16684 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 67(@250wpm)___ 56(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 16684 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 67(@250wpm)___ 56(@300wpm)
"No. They're actually leaving town right after the service. I'm going to be alone on Christmas."
My eyes widen, and I look back at my family. They're scattered around the church talking to friends, and I'm alone with Silas. I'm grateful that my sisters read the room and gave me a moment of peace. "Well, if you're not doing anything for Christmas, maybe we could...get together?"
He smiles. "Are you asking me out?"
I cringe. "Oh my God. Is that embarrassing?”
"No. It's sweet. You want to spend Christmas together?"
"Is that weird? I mean, I haven't talked to you in four years. We just went to high school together. We were never even really friends. I don't know what I'm thinking." I shake my head, pressing my fingertips to my cheeks, telling myself to calm down, but I just feel so much all at once for him.
"I'd love to spend Christmas with you," he answers. "You tell me what you want. I can come to your place and do Christmas with your family or you can come to mine and we can do Christmas just you and me."
"Your house will be empty?" I ask tentatively.
He nods. "Yep. I'll be all alone."
I know what it could mean going to his place, his empty place on Christmas, and I know what Christmas would look like at my house with him coming to me and my sisters and my dad. The whole day would be loud and chaotic and silly and ridiculous.
But this whole year has been about giving in to what I truly desire, even if it's scary and unknown and uncertain. It's been a whole year of saying yes to what I want instead of to what I should do or who I should be. And when I look at Silas, I know exactly what I would do if there was no guilt involved, no expectations that other people had on me.
"Look, I don't mean to put you on the spot," he says. "We could also hang out on New Year's—shoot, except I'm going to be gone." He shrugs. "Any time, honestly. I'm home for five days, and I'd love to see you."
"I want to come to your house tomorrow," I tell him quickly, my voice fast and real and honest.
He smiles at me and nods slowly. "All right. Do you want to have Christmas breakfast together, Christmas lunch, or Christmas dinner?" His words are soft, and he leans in so only I can hear them. I feel the warmth of his breath on my ear.
"Can I say yes to all three?" My body is lit up, on fire in a way it's been before, but not like this. This is different. This is real. This is so close. It's happening. I swallow.
"You can say yes all day long," he whispers.
I smile. "All right. I will come over for breakfast."
"Perfect," he says. "I'll make a fire, and we can have hot cocoa. I'm sure my mom has food in the house. Don't worry about that."
"You can cook?"
Silas smiles. "Yeah, I actually can. I was my mom's only child, and she was really insistent that I learned how to do things on my own. Cook and clean and all that stuff."
"That's sweet," I say. "You have a good mom."
Instantly he cringes. "Sorry. Is that disrespectful? I know you..."
"It's all right. I had a good mom too. She just left this earth way too soon. But I love that you are close with your parents, with your mom especially."
"Yeah, she's pretty much the best."
My heart warms and softens and gets all ooey-gooey at the same time. "So Christmas breakfast at your place…"
He nods. "Eight o'clock?"
I smile. "An early bird, huh?"
He laughs. "I actually get up way earlier than that. My internal clock has got all weird since I joined the Navy. I'm up at 5:30 most days."
"That's funny," I tell him. “That's how mine is too. I've been at the convent and..." I swallow. "Well, that's a whole other story. But there, I'd have to wake up at the crack of dawn. Six a.m. was breakfast, and you could not miss."
"Well, you can come over at 6:00 if you like."
I bite at my bottom lip." You want to wake up on Christmas morning with me?"
"Yeah," he says. "We can have coffee together before the hot cocoa. Oh, wear your pajamas."
I laugh. "You want me to wear my pajamas to your house?"
He smiles. "I absolutely do. Do you have Christmas pajamas? Please wear them."
"Do you have Christmas pajamas?" I toss back.
"I think so," he says. "I'm sure my mom has kept a pair of flannel pants in one of my drawers."
"Okay," I say with a giggle. "I'll wear my Christmas pajamas to your house at 6:00 in the morning."
"Perfect," he says. "I'll see you then."
I nod as he turns back toward his parents. He turns around and gives me one last look, a smile, and a wink. And my heart, it pounds, and I wonder, did this all just really happen?