Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 539(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 539(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Why was the one conversation I was actually enjoying forced to come to an end so abruptly?
If she was playing hard to get…she was definitely winning.
Wait…was I trying to get her?
The more I tried to think, the worse my headache became. Sighing, I sat back in the same spot she’d risen from and closed my eyes. But the very first images that came to mind were of her eyelashes…and her eyes, right when she woke up. I tried to push the thought from my head, but all it did was remind me of how wide she smiled.
She truly is quite stunning.
Immediately my eyes opened at that thought…all my thoughts lately, which seemed to be centered on her. A sudden panic came over me…I was not immature or misguided enough to pretend not to be attracted to someone. On the contrary, I was rather purposeful about whom I did show attentions to, for I was steadfast in my position against marriage. Widows, light skirts, and, of course, courtesans, were the standard women of pleasure…not high-born innocent ladies with a propensity for decorum and courtesy.
Not women like her. No, I avoided her type for a reason. Once you gave them your attention, they and all of society would demand marriage. And I would not be moved on the subject.
Even if my aunt wished me to marry for the sake of securing my inheritance and future, I did not wish to be trapped. Being attracted to a woman was one thing. Being utterly responsible for her future and well-being was another. I was not a reliable person. I acted impulsively, despite my best intentions. I’d ruined my own life with my actions back in my own country.
I’d only succeed in destroying hers as well. And for what? A momentary attraction.
I was flying too close to the sun.
I needed to distance myself from her before it was truly too late and I went too far.
10
Hathor
“Men are very odd creatures,” I said to Clementina as I scooped the jelly from my glass into my mouth from a table on a patio overlooking the rest of the ladies playing nine pins in the center of the yard. I watched as Prince Wilhelm somehow managed to be engaged in the company of Lady Mary, but at the same time kept her distant enough that one could not confidently say she’d captured his interest. One moment he was speaking to her, the next he was calling out to a friend and ignoring all others, before speaking to another lady and then again with Mary.
“Are you speaking of all men, or just one prince?” Clementina asked. When I looked at her, she was grinning with her spoon in her lips.
“Prince is a title. At the end of the day, he is just a man.”
“So you are speaking of him.”
“I am speaking of all of them,” I assured her, looking back over all the guests. “For truly, they make no sense to me. One moment it seems as though they seek your attention, the next they act as if you have vanished from the face of the earth.”
He had seemed to wish to speak with me today, and so I spoke to him, before realizing we were alone, which could cause foul gossip. I expected us to talk more when a chaperone was present, but instead the man had been avoiding me since this morning. Why?
And that damned kiss. I could not forget about it, despite my best efforts.
Why had he kissed me if he did not have interest? Was this some sort of game he played with all the ladies?
“Well, I have never attracted a gentleman’s interest. Consequently, I have no way to answer that question,” she replied, watching as Lady Emma rolled her ball down the path, knocking over only two pins. When I did not say a word, Clementina refocused her eyes upon me. “Oh, I beg of you do not give me a look of pity, you know how I detest these sorts of events. I’m very confident I shall be married, if only for my dowry, and as such, I know that games and ploys like this will be of no use to me. Besides, I do not have your talent for fainting. It is a rather high fall for me.”
Their “use” was fun, and I was sure she wished to experience it, which is why she stared so pointedly. However, her pride would not allow her to admit it.
“Hathor…”
“I am not looking at you in pity, but in jealousy!” I scoffed, taking another bite.
“What reason do you have to be envious? You have everything I possess and more.”
“I certainly do not have your composure, though I desperately try. You and many foolish others do not see you beyond your height. But I do. You move calmly, patiently, unfaltering, even in the face of the ill-mannered.” In truth, she was the perfect young lady, everything we were taught to be. Yet simply because she was tall, she was ignored. “On top of all this, you are kind and practical. Pity you? Never. If you were any more fitting a lady, I’d have to loathe you as I do Aphrodite, and I quite like your company, so do not speak willfully against yourself; I shall take it as an affront.”