Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
He felt so damn good and tasted so damn good. Nothing else mattered except that he was Callum and I was Knox. That we wanted each other. That we cared about each other and liked each other.
Then his hand was against my chest, pushing slightly, so I immediately stepped back.
“Wait… I… Holy fuck, you kissed me again. I didn’t expect that, and I want that, God, do I want that, but I think we need to talk first. Is Logan here?”
Warmth spread through my chest that he confirmed where Logan was before going any further, that Logan was important to him and he wanted to be sure things were okay. “No. He’s at Dale’s. Come in.”
He did, and Frankie Blue came running, apparently just realizing he was there. A guard dog, she was not.
Callum knelt and petted her, talked to her as I closed the door, and then I could do nothing but stand there and watch him.
When he stood again, he said, “Hi.”
“Hey.” I grinned.
“So, um…that, the kiss. Jesus, Knox. That was really fucking hot. And maybe this isn’t fair, maybe I have no right to say this or expect anything from you because you’ve never been with a man before, and because of your kids, and holy shit, how did this happen? How did I fall for a straight guy with kids?” He shook his head and stepped back.
“I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not straight. If I were, I wouldn’t want to kiss you again, right? I must be bi, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all myself.”
“I know. That’s what makes this harder and what makes me worry I don’t have the right to say this, but I can’t just be someone you’re figuring out your sexuality with. I like you, Knox, a lot, probably too much, but—”
“I like you too,” I cut him off. “Is that not obvious?”
“No… I… Well, that’s a thing. Guys who get off with other guys but could never have anything more with them. I know that’s not you, and I’m not asking for matching His and His robes or anything. And again, I know this is new for you and you have your kids to worry about, especially Logan right now, but I…I need us to either not kiss again, to decide that’s a thing we’re not going to allow to happen, but we stay friends and neither of us is immature about it…or I have to know it means something to you. That it’s more than getting off, because…” Callum shrugged. “Because you have the power to hurt me. Because I care about you and I have to protect myself. I don’t want this to be something that happens when you’re jealous I might be with someone else.”
Well, shit, when he said it like that, the guilt twisted me up again. I had been jealous tonight, but… “That’s not what this is. Don’t you know me better than that?”
He nodded, sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, and I wanted nothing more than to nibble it myself. “I do know you, probably better than I should for how long we’ve known each other. I had to say it, though.”
Because he was strong, because he didn’t take shit. I loved that about him. Still, it wasn’t that easy. I walked over, sat on the couch. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I want you, Christ, I want you so much, it feels like someone set my insides on fire.”
He gasped. “That doesn’t sound pleasant.”
“In a good way.” I smiled, maybe sadly. “And I’m not going to say I wasn’t jealous tonight, because I was. And I want this…to see what this is between us, but I’m on shaky ground too. I need to figure shit out myself before I risk hurting Logan. Can you imagine how confused he would be if I told him we were together? Then what if it didn’t work and he lost you?”
“He won’t ever lose me. I wouldn’t do that to him. I know I’ve had my head in my ass the last couple of weeks, but I wouldn’t walk away from him. Not really.”
“Okay.” I didn’t think it would happen on purpose, but there was always the chance. “What are you asking for, Cal? I want to explore this, want you to be mine, but I think we need to get our legs under us before we consider telling Logan. I need to sort through stuff in my head before I pull him into it.”
Callum stood there for a moment, and damned if I wasn’t holding my breath. Then slowly, he walked over to me. He knelt on the floor between my legs. “I would never risk hurting Logan that way. I would never rush you either. I just needed to know this is real.”