Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
“Sexually. Romantically. You were both practically naked sitting in the dark. I think because emotions are running high since the loss of your parents, that you’re both—”
“Stop,” I snap. “Don’t go there. You’re being disgusting. I would never do that and neither would Hudson. Do you think we’re sick?”
Sick. Sick. We’re definitely sick.
“No, but I just think—”
“Well, stop thinking,” I choke out. “I won’t have you making Hudson feel bad for trying to comfort me.”
She rises from the bed and walks over to me. “Okay then. Perhaps I misread the situation. I’m not good at this parenting thing. I only want to protect you as your parents would have.”
“Who will protect Hudson?” I croak out.
Me. The answer is me.
“He’s a grown man now,” she says softly. “He can take care of himself.”
“Are we done here?” I ask, tears threatening. “I’m tired.”
She nods and slips out of my room without another word. Once I’m certain she’s gone back to her room, I grab my phone and hide in my closet in the dark. I turn it on and dial my brother. He answers on the first ring.
“Hey,” he says, his voice gravelly, sending a thrill right down my spine.
“Hey. Where are you going?”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “Amy’s, I guess.”
I wince. “I thought you two broke up.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have,” he whispers. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done a lot of things tonight.”
My chest aches like someone is taking a bat to it. Pounding. Over and over again.
“Don’t say that.” A tear races down my cheek.
“Rylie…” His teeth grind loudly together. “We fucked up.”
“Nobody has to know.”
He’s silent for a beat. “It’s illegal.”
“I’ll be eighteen soon.”
“No, it’s illegal because we’re brother and sister. We could go to prison for up to four years. I looked it up.”
I laugh because it’s absurd. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And we won’t,” he grumbles. “It’s better this way. I’m sorry.”
“But I liked it…”
He exhales heavily. “I liked it too. But we can’t. It’s wrong and against the law. We just need some space and things can go back to the way they used to be.”
“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were,” I say sharply. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Hey,” he murmurs. “I’ll still be here. As your brother. We just can’t…”
Touch. Kiss. Fuck.
“Okay.” It’s the answer he wants. The only answer I can give him apparently. But it is not okay. I’ve had a taste of him and I’m poisoned by the thought of more.
“We’ll still talk and share music,” he assures me. “But…” He sighs. “I’m going to try and make things right with Amy. It has to be this way.” His voice cracks and I want to reach through the phone to hug him. He deserves so much more than Amy. He deserves me.
“She’s going to be so happy,” I groan, jealousy already eating away at my heart.
He chuckles. “Yeah.”
“She’s going to cry.”
“That’s a given.”
We both grow quiet.
“Rylie?”
“Yeah, Huds?”
“In another life…I would want it.” He lets out a frustrated huff. “I would find a way to make it happen.”
Just not this life.
A sniffle. “Night, Hudson.”
A sigh. “Night, heathen.”
I can’t breathe.
This sickness is slowly suffocating me.
Second by lonely second.
His voice on the phone isn’t enough.
For three days, I’ve spent my spring break curled up in my bed wearing a hoodie Hudson left as I sleep my woes away. In my bed—in the darkness—I’m free to imagine the other life. The life Hudson promised he’d find a way if there were one. In that life, we kiss and touch. In that life, we make love.
I’ve become obsessed with the idea of him and me.
Of his naked body pressed against mine, his hard cock rubbing between us. Our lips pressed together. Tongues tasting and tangling. His scent filling my lungs and never leaving.
I can’t cry anymore.
I did that for two days. Today, I’m numb. I miss him.
Hudson: How are you holding up today, heathen?
The screen blurs as tears well up in my eyes. Apparently I’m not all cried out. Knowing he hates the thumbs-up, I send him that emoji. I get the middle finger emoji back, which makes me laugh. The first laugh in days.
Me: I miss you.
He doesn’t reply and the tears silently leak from my eyes, wetting the pillowcase below. The nice thing about spring break is that my aunt and uncle are busy at work. I’m left alone to wallow in my despair. Nobody forces me to dress or shower or eat. I’m left alone.
Too alone.
I drift in and out of sleep, my dreams confusing me and teasing me.
“Rylie.”
His voice is so real. I want to hear him say my name over and over again.
“Rylie.” This time it’s barked out, borderline angrily.
Turning in bed, I lock eyes with the concerned ones of my brother. Like glowing green orbs in the darkened bedroom.