Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Goose bumps traveled up and down my arms. When I inhaled a deep breath, I smelled it—the cinnamon gum he always chewed, mixed with woodsy shampoo.
Doug telling us one more time, it was okay. He was okay.
It was time to move on and for all of us to finally be free.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Griffin
I forced myself to go to work that evening. I knew I didn’t have to. Miguel would have taken care of it, but I also knew myself well enough to admit I’d drive myself crazy if I didn’t. I needed to get into my routine, be around the familiar and distract myself from the deep-seated pain in my chest.
It didn’t surprise me when Kellan and Chase came in, then Natalie, then Law and Remy, and Knox and Callum. My friends. My family. They were offering support, even though I knew Kellan wouldn’t have told them all the details. He would have said I needed them, and he would have been right.
And they’d come.
“Thanks, guys,” I said as I handed them all beers.
“Nothing to thank us for, brother,” Chase replied.
“Just don’t…don’t let this fuck up our group, okay? It’s not his fault. This is just the way it is, but I couldn’t stand it if this screwed us up or if Josh was hurt by it.” He couldn’t change that part of him that wouldn’t let him love me. Maybe that meant he just…didn’t, and I needed to acknowledge that.
I still couldn’t believe it had only been last night that we’d been together, that I’d told him I loved him. It felt like a world of things had changed since then.
Hours went by. The bar was unusually slow for a Friday night. It was close to eleven, and there were only about fifteen or so other people there besides my friends. My eyes kept snagging on Grumpy Bear all night. Every time they did, another pang hit my chest. “Listen, guys, you don’t have to hang out here all night. It’s late. You did your part. You can head out.”
I had a feeling they would say no, but the door opened then, and we all turned to look. Josh stood there, and he looked…exhausted. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing the clothes he’d worn the day before. His eyes were red, dark circles beneath them, but he stared straight at me, and he was still the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.
The bar went on around me, everyone talking and laughing, not feeling the earth shake beneath us. Except for our friends.
I watched as Josh walked over, knowing the rest of our crew did too. He stopped on the other side of the counter from me, stood there looking at me, and said, “I’m in love with you. Hell, I’ve probably been in love with you since before our trip, I just never let myself see it. I’m in love with you, and I want to be with you—all the way. None of that bullshit about this just being a hookup, about not being able to give you my heart, because you stole that motherfucker a while ago, and I don’t want it back. I love you.”
Blood rushed through my ears. I was trembling, my brain still trying to play catch-up with what just happened, with what he’d said.
Josh loved me. He was there, in front of everyone, at my bar, telling me he loved me. “I love you too,” finally managed to fall from my lips.
I had to touch him to make sure this was real.
We rushed around to the end of the bar. We met in the middle and pulled each other close, our arms around one another. Josh kissed me, my cheek, the corner of my mouth, hand in my hair, moving to the back of my neck. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Christ, I love you so fucking much.”
We kissed again, my tongue in his mouth. I tasted tears on his lips and wanted to lick it all away. Wanted to fix whatever hurt him, and would do that every day if he’d let me.
There was loud clapping around us. We pulled back to look, and most everyone in the bar was cheering. There were some people who obviously didn’t care or who shook their heads, likely not happy with this development, but they knew not to say anything in my bar, not at my place.
None of them mattered anyway. The only people who did were me and Josh. Natalie and Kellan, who were crying. Chase, who nodded and smiled. Remy, Law, Knox, and Callum, who looked at us with support and love.
“Shit. I wasn’t thinking. I just needed to tell you I loved you. I should have taken you somewhere else. It wasn’t my place to out you this way,” Josh said, trying to pull away.