Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Griff’s eyes darkened, a wild storm of intensity. “I guess you do, and things make a bit more sense now—why you’re holding on. You’re in love with him, and he’s alive, and there’s a chance.”
The pain in his voice was a vise around my heart. Christ, this man would never stop surprising me. “That’s the thing, Griff. I will always love Doug, but I’m not in love with him. I’m not holding on for the reasons you think I am. I don’t know how to let go, and I don’t know how to deserve letting go, because it was my fault. Why do I deserve to be happy when he’s lying in that bed? But for the first time in my life, I want to try and let go. You make me want to try.”
“I do?” There was awe in his voice, like Griff was surprised my words could be true. Did he really not know how incredible he was? Since the beginning, I had been breaking my rules for Griff, changing because of what he did to me. I wasn’t sure there was anything I wouldn’t do for him.
“Yes. How do you not know that by now, Griffy? We really need to work on making you a little cockier.” It was a joke, and he gave me a small smile, but I didn’t think either of us was really in the mood to be playful. I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and tugged him closer. Our foreheads kissed, and we sat there, naked, me with dried tears on my face, breathing each other’s air. “You got me all tangled up in you. I don’t know how to unravel myself, and the thing is, I don’t want to. I want the strings to pull tighter. But that doesn’t change how guilty I feel. My thoughts are so messed up, and I’m trying to work through them, but it’s not easy working through it all. I’m trying, though. Christ, if you don’t make me need to try.”
The truth was, no matter how much I’d loved Doug, he wasn’t coming back to me. It was hard to wrap my brain around sometimes, because he was there, he was alive, and I had never worked through his accident or who we were to each other. I buried it deep inside and pretended to miss him as a friend instead of a lover. Then I moved on, keeping that part of me locked up, giving my body but not my heart. Now there was Griff, digging up my past and working his way around my defenses. Holding parts of me I thought I no longer had to give.
“We’ll figure it out. Take it slow. Whatever we need to do. I just know I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you either,” I replied.
My grip on the back of his neck tightened as raw need flooded me. I wanted to touch him, savor him, possess him in ways that were unfamiliar but urgent.
“Please,” I said against Griff’s lips before pressing a kiss there. “Please. I need you.”
A deep growl reverberated from his chest and past his lips as Griff pressed them hard against mine, filled with hunger I could taste as he pushed me back on the bed, but I couldn’t let go, couldn’t manage not to touch him, and pulled Griff with me, until I was lying down and he was giving me his weight.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Griffin
This wasn’t the first time Josh had been beneath me, and I sure as hell hoped it wouldn’t be the last. I still had the whole night in my thoughts—telling him I wanted him, that I wanted to know what it was like to have him inside me. What he’d told me about Doug. The pain on his face. The way it broke me when I held him as he cried.
I couldn’t imagine what he’d been through. Just the thought made sadness twist an ugly hand around me. As if he could sense it, he said, “Don’t do that. Don’t go there. This moment is just for us. I don’t want to share it with anyone else. All the other shit will be there waiting for us.”
Yeah, that was what I needed too. I answered Josh with my lips pressed to his and my tongue in his mouth, our bodies moving and grinding together. I loved how hard he was, the feel of muscles and ridges beneath his warm skin. The way his cock felt when it rubbed against mine.
I wanted everything with Josh. Christ, I really fucking did.
“I want you to fuck me.” I tested the words on my tongue as I moved against him, our foreheads again pressed together. My pulse jumped in anticipation as I surrendered to the truth I’d hinted at earlier. Yes, I wanted to know what it felt like to be possessed by Josh. To know the feel of having someone inside me, becoming a part of me in a way no one had ever been.