Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Want another beer? My treat?” Law asked, and I shook my head.
“No, thanks. I appreciate it, but I have to drive.” Plus, I didn’t really feel like drinking anyway. Had too much shit on my mind.
He paused for a moment, like there was something he’d been mulling over, then said, “It’s good to see you and Kellan happy. The kid deserves it.”
I cocked a brow at him. “He’s not a kid.”
“Yeah, I know. Spending too much time with Griff, I think. And listen, I just want to say, I know things are rough right now—the photos and Griff.”
Which meant he knew Griffin was upset with me. Maybe they’d spoken, or maybe it was simply that obvious.
“Can’t help who you love, ya know?” Law took a swallow of his beer. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking from experience or being polite.
“No, you can’t.” My eyes scanned the bar and landed on Kellan. As if he knew I was looking at him, he paused in his conversation with Josh and smiled at me. “And I don’t want to.”
“Good man,” Law replied, then went back to speaking with Knox, while I went back to worrying about all the shit on my mind and what would happen from there.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Kellan
It had been a few days since our night out at the bar, and with each one that passed, I knew more was going on with Chase than he was letting on.
We had a lot to deal with—I understood that. Between his being off work, the photos, his dad being gone, not staying at home, and the wall between him and Griffin, yeah, it was more than anyone should have to deal with. I hated that I couldn’t do anything about it. Sure, he laughed at all the right times, and it wasn’t like he was pulling away from me or anything. We spent our time together and cooked together and watched movies.
He hung out at Safe Haven with me, and I’d even tried to teach him how to make a vase with pottery. We had this Ghost moment and, you know, that’s obviously hot. But Chase was struggling, and that weighed heavily on me. I wanted him happy. I wanted to fix it, because Chase always tried to fix things for others. He deserved someone to mend something for him.
So I tackled the only part of this equation I had some control over—my brother.
Chase was off doing something. Hell, I didn’t even know what. So I asked Griff to go out to lunch with me. We went to Mr. Tom’s, this little hole-in-the-wall café in Havenwood, where chances were we wouldn’t run into someone we knew. There was Law’s place, Sunrise, but I thought we needed privacy for this.
Griff and I found a seat in the corner and ordered cheeseburgers, fries, and chocolate milkshakes.
“We gotta talk about Chase,” I said to him when we were alone.
Griffin rubbed a hand over his face and groaned. “How did I know that was why you wanted to go to lunch?”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.
“No, I’m serious, Kell. If we’re going to talk, let’s be real. When was the last time we spent time together? When was the last time you said, Hey, brother. Let’s go to lunch?”
His words sank into my chest in an uncomfortable way. He was right. Of course he was right. I wasn’t sure Griffin was ever wrong about anything, but it wasn’t something I’d really thought about. “You haven’t said that to me either. Plus, we live together. We see each other all the time.”
“And if I had asked you to hang out? You always seem to think there’s an ulterior motive.”
“Because there always is,” I countered. Fighting was the last thing I wanted to do with him, but I also wasn’t going to take all the blame for…whatever it was that was happening here. “You act like you’re my dad. You make me feel like a kid, Griff. You always make me feel like I’m doing something wrong, or like I’m a screw-up who can’t take care of himself. It’s like you’re always scolding me and I’m never…like I’m never good enough.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. It wasn’t something he meant, but Griff made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
“And I get it. We’re different,” I continued. “You’re much more responsible than I am, and I haven’t always made the smartest choices, but it’s hard, knowing you don’t ever trust me.”
He frowned, his stare pinning me intensely. I could see the thoughts twisting around in his brain, but I didn’t know what they were.
“I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“I know. You don’t think I know? There isn’t a mean bone in your body, but that almost makes it worse, like I’m…fuck, I don’t know. Like your life revolves around me, because you love me so much and you’re such a good person and I’m…not.”