Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“That's it, sweetheart, take another one,” Con said. “I’m going to get you some water, okay?”
With that, I felt Con pull away from me. Something inside me just snapped. Call it selfish, but in that moment, I chose me. I chose what I wanted. I chose my truth.
I grabbed Con's wrist.
Hard.
“Don't,” I choked out. “Please, God, don't give up on me. I do. I do love you. It scares me how much.”
Con leaned back into me and then his lips were brushing my temple. He held me for a long time before murmuring, “Take a shower with me, sweetheart.”
I managed to nod but nothing more. It was all I could do not to grab onto Con again when he got off the bed. He quickly came around to my side and then he was reaching his hand out. Since the first night we’d made love, I’d seen Con naked every night, but I still couldn't get used to how perfectly built he was.
Now, because he’d said those beautiful words to me, I knew he was mine.
Always mine.
I didn't care what it took, I'd figure out how to make sure he stayed that way. I’d make it so he wouldn't regret bestowing those beautiful words on me. For choosing me. For coming back into my life and staying there, no matter how many times I’d tried to push him away.
He was mine tonight. But more importantly, he was mine tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. I wasn't letting go.
As I wound my fingers through Con’s and let him pull me to my feet, I could only pray that he wasn't letting me go either.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Con
Three hours later and I still couldn't take my eyes off of him.
I still couldn't believe he’d told me he loved me.
I hadn't even dared to dream that Micah might say those coveted words back to me, so when he had, when he’d just blurted them out like he had, I'd been beyond surprised. Part of me had wondered if maybe he’d felt pressured to say them back but considering how terrified he’d been when he’d said them, I was pretty certain he was telling the truth.
He could have just as easily stayed silent or awkwardly said the words back, but his emotion had been genuine. He loved me but he was afraid of what that meant.
Hell, I was too.
Dreaming about being in love and actually having it happen were two very different things.
I’d never felt more exposed or vulnerable in my life but at the same time, telling Micah I loved him was as easy and natural as breathing. It made no sense.
But I didn’t care. All I cared about was giving Micah what he needed, and what he needed was time to process things. So once I’d gotten him in the shower, there’d been no more declarations or discussion. It had been just the two of us taking care of one another. Micah had washed me, I’d done the same for him, and then we’d gotten back into bed.
I’d made love to him again, though this time I’d used my mouth to wrench another heart-stopping orgasm out of him. Micah had wanted to reciprocate, but even if I’d thought he was ready for something like oral sex, it hadn’t been about me needing to get off. I might not have physically come when Micah had, but I’d never felt more complete than when I’d held him in my arms as he’d gently fallen back to earth. Truth was, I knew there was a very real chance that what we’d done tonight would be all Micah was ever ready for, but it didn’t matter to me. Any kind of physical contact with Micah was a thousand times more satisfying than sex with any one of the guys I’d been with in the past.
And Micah wasn’t the only one who’d come into the relationship with some pretty heavy baggage. I hadn’t realized that I still carried a lot of hang-ups when it came to sex. Strangely enough, I hadn't even thought about my own limitations until I’d met Micah. I’d always considered myself as healed as I was going to get from the rape but being with Micah had proven that I wasn’t as over it as I’d thought. That realization had come from the fact that as scared as I was to give that part of myself to Micah, I also wanted it. In my gut I knew it would be different with him. But my brain was a harder sell. The fact that I loved Micah and I loved everything we did together hadn’t magically made all those fears disappear. Even if we managed to get to the next step in our physical relationship, it wouldn't solve what was at the heart of the problem.