Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
There.
I’d said it.
I shook against the counter as he wrenched his gaze from mine and stalked across the room. Fyfe dragged a hand through his hair, his fingers clenching in the thick strands. It was the pose of a man in anguish.
I braced myself.
Fifteen
FYFE
Panic.
It rioted through me as Eilidh’s confession filled the space between us.
No.
No, no, no.
I didn’t believe her.
And I couldn’t believe her.
And I was fucking pissed off that she’d do this to us!
Couldn’t she see who I was? How I’d already failed her?
I ignored her question and spun around from pacing Lewis’s living room. “No.”
Eilidh stared at me wide-eyed, so goddamn beautiful and untouchable. “No?”
The hope in her expression made me furious. At her. At myself. Anger was a tight fist around my throat. “No as in … I … I can’t love you like that.”
Startled, she reared back like I’d hit her. “You can’t?”
“I care about you. I do. But I … no. You and I will never be that. All I can ever give you is friendship.”
Tears burned in her eyes and it killed me to see them. To know I’d put them there. “I … I can’t be friends with you, Fyfe. I’m sorry.”
Renewed panic had me striding toward her. “Eilidh, please. Don’t do this to us. I need you.”
She gaped at me in disbelief. “I just told you I’m in love with you, and you just told me you don’t love me back … and you want me to put aside how that makes me feel because you need our friendship?”
Fuck.
“Eilidh.” I reached for her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Eilidh, please.”
Footsteps thundered up the stairs behind us and I whirled around just as Lewis appeared at the top of them. His features were hard as granite. “You heard her.”
“Lew—”
He cut me off with a shake of his head, his gaze bouncing to Eilidh before hardening as it swung back to me. “Did you sleep with my sister?”
“No!” both Eilidh and I cried.
Lewis’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “But something happened.”
“Aye.” I nodded grimly. “I kissed her. Twice.”
“Even though you don’t love her?”
I’ll never know what stupid fucking gremlin possessed me in the next moment as I huffed, “Not all of us need to be in love with a woman to want to shag her, Lewis. That’s just you, mate.”
At Eilidh’s in-drawn breath, I squeezed my eyes closed in anguish.
“Fuck.” I reached for her. “Eilidh, I didn’t—”
My words were cut off by Lewis who was suddenly in my face, his fist clenched in the front of my shirt as he shoved me away from Eilidh.
I stumbled back, fear rioting through me at the rage on my friend’s expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I looked at Eilidh but she’d turned away, her chin trembling as if she was attempting to hold back tears.
It felt like my guts were being ripped open. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t talk to her. Just get out, Fyfe.” Lewis drew his sister behind him as if she needed protection.
From me.
I felt like I might be sick.
“I never meant to hurt you, Eilidh.”
“But you did.” Lewis glowered at me. “And this is why I never wanted you two to get close. Because I know how fucked up you are about women.”
I flinched. “I never intended to hurt her. Lewis, I’d protect Eilidh with my life and you know it.”
“It doesn’t feel that way right now.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I’m sorry … I just … I need you to leave.” I could hear the weary despondency in his voice as he warned, “Don’t make me ask you again.”
On that note, I left before I lost my dignity and begged them both to understand. I loved Eilidh.
I just wasn’t capable of loving her the way she loved me.
She deserved more than I could give.
Sixteen
EILIDH
Typing out the end of the scene, I hit the last key on the keyboard with satisfaction and then saved the document.
My script was coming along.
I’d thrown myself into it the last few weeks, supported by my family who treated my writing time like it was precious. I’d taken to writing early in the mornings and when I went next door for a coffee, Mum already had one waiting. No one interrupted me in that time and whoever greeted me when I came out of my writing cave asked me excitedly, “How did it go?”
I loved my family.
When I wasn’t writing, I spent most days with them and our large group of friends. Ardnoch was a small place, but our social circle was not.
Unfortunately, that meant gossip traveled fast.
Although no one knew why, everyone seemed to know there was discord between Fyfe and Lewis. My parents had asked about it, but I’d told Lewis not to tell them. I suspected he was relieved he didn’t have to. He loved Fyfe and I’d told him he didn’t need to choose between us. But he seemed to be taking Fyfe’s rejection of me almost as badly as I was. My nosy brother had known something was going on between us and he’d decided to drop in on us. He told me he never meant to, but when he’d heard me confessing my love, he’d “accidentally” eavesdropped.