Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
I say it so decisively as if I’ve already come to terms with it when in fact I feel like I’m drowning.
Huddy is shaking his head and holds his hand up. “Wait. Are you telling me that for the last two years, you have made sure not to include her in your family’s life… in YOUR life? Is that what you’re saying?”
“That’s exactly right.”
He starts to laugh. “And she put up with this for two years? Now what? She divorces you and gets half of everything you own?”
I feel as if I’m about to throw up. In a voice all void of emotion, I tell him the truth. “She doesn’t want anything. The gym is already in her name. I had to force her to take her car. She doesn’t want the house or any money. Hell, she was going to leave to go to a friend's house last night, but I made her stay in the house. She doesn’t want anything from me.”
Huddy stares at me in shock and then throws his hands up in the air. “You dumb son of a bitch. What the fuck were you thinking?” He stops and holds his hand up. “Wait. Forget it. Don’t answer that because you obviously weren't thinking. Beau, answer me one thing.”
I pinch my nose between my fingers and then rub my fingers over my eyes. “What is it, Huddy? What do you want to know?”
“Do. You. Love. Her?” He enunciates each word, and when I don’t answer him, he asks again, “Do you love her? Answer me, Beau.”
I choke on the answer, but I know I can’t lie about it. “Yes. Okay, yes, I do love her.”
He seems almost angry now. “And that’s how you show her. You don’t make her a part of the family? You make her an outsider like she’s someone you’re ashamed of or something. I can just imagine how she feels right now. She probably thinks none of us think she’s good enough for you or some crazy shit like that. And now she wants a divorce. It’s no damn surprise to me. How much do you think a woman can take?”
I shrug my shoulders as if I don’t have a care in the world when in fact I haven’t slept a wink all night and now I’m completely sick about all of it. “It doesn’t matter, it’s done.”
“But it’s not done, you fool. You can still make this right.”
I’m shaking my head. “It’s too late.”
“Fuck, Beau. This is ridiculous. So you kept her at arm’s length because you were scared to lose her, and now here we are. You’re losing her. Does it hurt any less? Are you okay with watching her walk away?”
His words sink in, and it’s like a weight on my chest. I can’t breathe. I can’t focus on anything. I close my eyes and see her big blue eyes looking back at me. I suck in a breath, but it doesn’t help. “Fuuuuckkk!” I scream.
Huddy grabs me by the arms and shoves me against the counter. “Listen to me. Look at our father. If he had given up after Mom left, he never would have spent the last forty or so years with Charlotte. I’ve never seen Lucas as happy as he is now, and you know as well as I do, it’s because of Issi. And fuck, look at Ford. His ex-wife completely fucked him and Ollie over. If someone should be scared of love, he should be, but look at him now. He and Ollie have Lilian. And me, I have Elle.” He holds his hand up. “And yes, the thought of losing her absolutely guts me, but all I can do is work every day to make her happy so that she never even considers leaving me. I know as well as anyone that there’s no guarantees, but living a life without Ellie is not an option.”
“Fuck, I know Huddy. I know.”
He comes to stand next to me. “You have to do something.”
I nod my head. “But what? I fucked up for two years. She wants out. How do I even come back from this?”
He claps me on the back. “I’ll tell you what you do. You man the fuck up, brother. You need to make a plan and then do whatever you have to do, but you don’t let her leave.”
Just a flare of hope starts to ignite inside me, and I know he’s right. All I’ve thought about all night is that I can’t picture my life without her in it. I fucked up, and I can’t imagine her forgiving me, but I’m going to do everything I can to make her change her mind.
Chapter 6
Natalie
Can we have dinner tonight? I would like to talk.
That’s the text I got from Beau this morning. It took me an hour to respond but mostly because I had to convince myself that I could handle it. Last night, I did exactly what I told Jilly I would do. I cried, took a bath, and lay in bed trying to figure out my next step. This morning, I went and taught class and then had lunch with Jilly and the girls where we talked about everything except my impending divorce. Of course, Jilly knows, but I haven’t told the others yet. Now I’m sitting here, waiting on Beau to show up.