Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
“Don’t be cross with her on my behalf,” Lucien said with a crooked smile. “I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t be used to it,” Aksel ground out, his eyes flashing. “You’re amazing, the kindest person I know.” He nuzzled his bare stomach. “I feel fucking unworthy touching you, like I’m dirtying you up. You’re beautiful, inside and out. You shine from within, Luce.”
Lucien blinked a few times, his heart so full with affection and gratitude he didn’t know what to do with his emotions. He wanted—he wanted to thank him for his words—he wanted Aksel closer—he wanted to give him something—he wanted—he wanted...
His breasts suddenly felt heavy, the tips aching. He wanted... he wanted Aksel’s mouth on them, sucking his milk and relieving the ache... God, he craved the intimacy of it.
Lucien shook his head dazedly, trying to snap out of it. He was being ridiculous; he didn’t have milk, hadn’t had for years. There wasn’t any milk for Aksel to drink. And it was beyond weird to want to breastfeed a grown alpha twice his size. But fuck, the tips of his breasts ached for Aksel’s mouth. That had to mean that he wanted to nurse him, right? What else could it mean?
“What is it?” Aksel said, as attuned to him as ever. “You’re tense.” He tensed up too. “Does my touch bother you?”
“No,” Lucien said. “It’s just... My chest feels heavy, like I have milk again, and it’s weird. I stopped lactating years ago.”
Aksel stared at him strangely.
He cleared his throat, and then cleared it again. “Show me.”
Lucien’s body was already moving before he could think twice. He lifted his shirt up, baring his breasts to Aksel’s gaze.
Aksel wet his lips with his tongue.
The ache in Lucien’s nipples got worse. Frowning, Lucien touched the left one and squeezed, just to see if there was any milk. But there was none. He wasn’t lactating. It was all in his head.
“This is so strange,” he said, feeling lost.
Aksel took in an audible breath. “Does it hurt?” he said, his eyes fixed on Lucien’s chest.
“No—sort of? There’s this ache like I want—like I want...” God, this was the single most embarrassing conversation in his life, but the disconcerting heaviness and ache were worsening under Aksel’s gaze.
Lucien looked at Aksel’s mouth, hoping he would understand what he meant without him having to say that.
Aksel’s throat moved. He licked his lips again. “I’m trying to be a better man here, Luce,” he said.
When Lucien shot him a confused look, Aksel groaned and buried his face against Lucien’s belly again, breathing hard, his wide shoulders heaving as if he’d run a grueling marathon.
“Aksel?”
“Surely you can’t be this innocent and pure, Luce.”
Lucien blinked before laughing. “Pure? I’m definitely not pure, darling.”
Aksel glowered at him, his hands flexing on Lucien’s sides. “What those assholes did to you when you were a kid isn’t relevant. You’re innocent and pure. Too pure for your own good.”
Lucien didn’t argue, knowing that it was useless arguing with Aksel on the subject. “I don’t understand what my purity—or lack thereof—has to do with this.” He gestured to his aching, sensitive chest.
Aksel pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Your body wants sex,” he said bluntly.
Lucien stared at him. “What? I—that can’t be true. I would know if it were true, wouldn’t I?”
Aksel’s expression became tight. “You’re on strong suppressants, have been for years. It seems you know nothing about your body and its needs. Trust me, what you’re feeling is arousal.”
“But...” Lucien squirmed. “I don’t—I don’t want you that way.” He couldn’t. Aksel was absolutely off-limits. Lucien couldn’t want him that way. He simply couldn’t.
Aksel’s face hardened. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything.
“Desire for sex is a physical need,” he finally said, his voice toneless. “It has little to do with the person you’re with. I’m not taking this personally.” His gaze shifted to Lucien’s bare chest, and a muscle jumped in his firm jaw. “Your tits don’t have milk. They ache because you want to be touched and get off. It’s as simple as that.”
Lucien shook his head dazedly. “But I’m not—I’m not hard,” he said. “I almost never get hard. You’re supposed to get hard when you’re aroused.” That much he knew. He wasn’t entirely clueless.
Aksel’s expression became even more pained. “You’re an omega. Getting hard is a secondary sign of arousal for you. And after decades on strong suppressants you might have erectile dysfunction. It means nothing.” He met Lucien’s gaze. “Do you get slick?”
His eyes wide, Lucien spluttered, “That’s—hardly an appropriate subject of conversation!”
A wry, humorless smile touched Aksel’s lips. “And showing your tits to an alpha and saying that they ache is?”
Lucien flushed. When Aksel put it that way, his behavior was terribly indecent. But this was Aksel. It wasn’t as though he’d never seen him topless. “You’re not just any alpha,” Lucien said uncomfortably. “It’s different.”