Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
He pulled in a quick breath as I swallowed, looking up at him. I was the one who felt intoxicated now, even though I’d barely had anything to drink.
“Just wanted to taste you,” I said.
“Wow,” he whispered.
“Hang on,” I said, getting up and grabbing a towel for him, wetting it down with warm water. During the short moment alone in the bathroom my head was spinning, wondering if I’d gone too far. We hadn’t fucked, but it was still possible that Adam would regret all of this tomorrow. More than anything, I wanted him to feel comfortable. To feel like himself around me.
But God, I’d liked seeing this side of him. Getting to see him let loose, doing whatever the hell he wanted around me. I would never forget the image of him naked and cooking in my kitchen.
I looped back toward the living room and found Adam lying down on my couch, his eyes gently closed. He had passed out, sleeping softly, looking like some sort of dark, handsome fallen angel. I left the wet towel on the kitchen counter and instead unfolded the big, plush blanket that was on the side of the couch. I draped it over his body, tucking him in.
I wished I could freeze this moment. Adam and I were so different—if I’d met him in real life before knowing of his online persona, I probably would have left him alone entirely, sensing that he wasn’t much of a fan of socializing.
But I liked who he was under his shell. If this was the only night we ever spent together, I’d have to be happy with that. Adam didn’t seem to realize it, but someday soon, he would most likely end up finding someone to fall in love with. Then he’d stop uploading videos online, and I’d just end up as a blip in his memories: the flirty guy with a blue streak in his hair who once licked cum from his hand like a desperate freak. Adam didn’t seem to realize how much of a catch he was, but it was undeniable.
I watched him for another few moments, making sure he was comfortable as he slept on my couch. My heart ached a little, seeing him looking so peaceful after he’d been a charming, rambling, tipsy mess just an hour ago. A mess that I really, really liked.
I pulled in a breath, turning and heading down the hall to my bedroom.
Sometimes I missed the old version of me. The version of me that used to say things like Adam said earlier tonight—things about falling in love, or finding “the one.” I used to be hopeful instead of jaded. I could fall in love without knowing how much it could hurt. And even though he was doubtful about it himself, I knew Adam would find someone. Because who wouldn’t want him?
If I hadn’t given up on love, Adam would be exactly the kind of guy I’d want to end up with, too.
12
ADAM
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror for what felt like the tenth time this morning. My hair tended to swoop to one side, but it was like half of it had gotten up today and decided to protest, going the opposite way entirely. All I wanted was to get it to behave.
I smoothed out my shirt, noticing how it hung a little loosely around my waist. All at once I was convinced that it looked like a boxy rectangle, and I went back to my closet, taking it off and tossing it to the side. I put on a green button-down shirt with a faint leaf pattern all over it, taking another look in the mirror. It hugged my torso a little better. Or did it? I was sick of looking in the mirror. I never looked in the mirror this much.
Were all of my clothes just not right, somehow? I felt an urge to go update my wardrobe, another feeling that I’d never had until now.
I paced over toward the glass-paned windows in my bedroom balcony doors, looking out at the morning light. I breathed deep, realizing that my heart rate had gone up already and the day hadn’t even started.
Fuck me, I was nervous to see Chase.
It had only been two days since I’d woken up on his couch, naked, embarrassed as all hell.
Early in the morning, I’d gotten up and thrown my clothes on. I left his apartment as quietly as I could, but the shame had followed me like a dog for the last 48 hours. Chase texted me a polite message saying the night had been fun, but it didn’t do much to help.
I couldn’t think about our night together without freaking out a little inside.
But… I also couldn’t think of it without getting hard.
Really fucking hard, sometimes.