Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82568 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82568 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
And it’s your business how? bumped around inside his head, but Roe ignored it. That was what he planned to try and do from now on—not make Holden his business and not want more with him. It was already what he’d planned and failed at, but he ignored that little nugget of truth.
He pulled onto the driveway and down toward the farm he grew up on.
His dad and brothers, Dennis and Colby, stood with Scott by one of the old barns—the one where they kept most of the feed. It was strange for him sometimes. As close as his family was, as much as he knew he was loved and accepted, he still felt occasionally like he was on the outside looking in.
He was the only queer member of the family. The only one who’d moved away for years. Who went to college farther away than Asheville. He didn’t work full-time on the farm like the rest of them, instead choosing to have something for himself with Covington Supply Co.
The thing was, he knew most of that was on him. He was the oldest—Monroe Charles Covington Jr. His parents would have loved for him to stay local, to have worked at Covington Acres, but even though they meant the world to him and Harmony was his home, none of those other things had felt right.
“There he is!” his dad said when Roe got out of the truck.
“Am I late or something?” They hadn’t been out of feed, so he knew his family hadn’t needed it that morning.
“No, just giving you shit,” his dad said.
“Plus,” Dennis said, “you non-farm boys are always a little late. You getting soft on us? Not used to getting up early?” He swatted Roe’s abs with the back of his hand.
“I’m up early and you know it. I put in work at home, at the store, and now I’m here.”
“I put in work at home, at the store, and now I’m here,” Colby mocked playfully.
Roe grabbed his youngest brother and put him in a headlock. Dennis jumped in, and the three of them horsed around for a while.
He loved this. Even if he did feel a bit like an outsider sometimes, he knew he really wasn’t.
They unloaded the feed, and then Roe did some stuff around the farm with his family. When they were working, he happened to mention watching a movie the night before with Lindsey and Wyatt after the barbecue.
“When are you gonna realize you’re basically married to her?” Dennis asked.
“Jesus,” Roe gritted out. His father gave him that look Roe had gotten often growing up. He was a grown man, though. If he wanted to say Jesus, he could. “I love Linds. She’s my closest friend, and we share a son. That’s all it could ever be.” This wasn’t the first time he’d heard a comment like that.
“Doesn’t feel like it. And does she know there will never be more?”
“Of course she does,” Roe snapped. “I’m gay. I’ve always been gay, and I always will be.”
“I’m not trying to be a dick,” Dennis replied. “I’m just saying…you get along, you’re not taken, she’s not. You share Wyatt and spend all your free time together. Might as well be more. At least you’d have someone.”
At least you’d have someone…
Because he didn’t now, and he hadn’t in a long time.
“You’re not getting any younger,” Dennis added.
“You’re an asshole sometimes, you know that?” Colby told him.
“Why? Because I want my brother to have a family? Because I don’t want him to be alone? He’s the only one…like him that we know. Don’t seem like there are a whole lotta options.”
“Dennis!” Dad finally said. “Mind your business and your manners.”
His brother sighed, then turned to Roe. “I really wasn’t trying to be a jerk. I was just saying…you care about Lindsey. You could make it work with her. You like being with her.”
“But I’m not straight, no matter how much you wish I was.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to,” Roe replied. “I’m gonna head out.”
He’d planned to talk to his mom about Holden wanting to come over and see about the work she wanted done, but Roe wasn’t in the mood. He went straight for his truck and headed home. Goddamned Dennis. The thing was, Roe knew he hadn’t meant any harm; he just didn’t get it. And the truth was, like a lot of people in Harmony, he had outdated ways of thinking. He even gave Colby shit sometimes because he hadn’t settled down. To Dennis, you found a nice girl, got married, and had a family. In his eyes, Roe had the son, had the nice girl, but he wasn’t doing the responsible thing by making the three of them a “real” family.
But did Dennis not think Lindsey had any say in it? They were friends. They talked about men together. Was she supposed to just up and marry Roe, who she knew was gay, so they could check some traditional family box? So they could then be miserable in a lie of a marriage? Fuck that. She deserved better. They both did.