Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Jesus. Here we go.
“Several times?” Ralph’s attorney sneers. “Please, list them all for me.”
“All of them?” Miranda gasps out, like he’s asking her to name every star in the galaxy, and it’s all I can do not to palm my fucking forehead. What the fuck, Miranda? Play some goddamned chess, dude, not simple checkers.
“Okay, well, when I was about ten, I’d say,” Miranda begins, “I witnessed my teenage big brother, Caleb, punching my father in the face for the first, but not the last, time. I believe Caleb punched him twice that time, but it might have been more. Either way, he did it to stop our father from beating the crap out of our mother. That’s what Caleb had to do several times over the years. Always for the same reason. Until finally, Caleb’s band took off and he got rich, so he was able to get our mother away from our father for good.”
Ralph’s lawyer shifts his weight and checks his notes on the lectern. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
“Should I go on?” Miranda asks, breaking the thick silence.
“Sure,” the lawyer says, sounding a tad less confident than before.
Miranda takes a deep breath. “About ten years ago, Caleb got home from tour and found out this awful boyfriend of mine had gotten a bit rough with me during an argument, so my brother drove over to my apartment and beat the crap out of him. I’d already broken up with the loser by then, so I told Caleb not to bother with him. But he wouldn’t listen. He said, ‘And what about the next woman he dates? What will he do to her, if he thinks there’s never going to be any consequences for his bad behavior?’” Miranda smirks. “So, anyway, he drove me to my ex’s place and beat him up, while I waited in the car. And then, he called me inside and made my ex get on his knees in front of me, while his face was all bloody and gross, and apologize to me.” She bites back a smile. “Caleb made him apologize and beg for my forgiveness—and he made him do it in a teeny-tiny baby voice.”
Really, Miranda? She seriously thinks that cute little detail is helpful here? Fuck me.
I look down at my hands on the table, so the judge won’t see whatever’s on my face. I’m deeply concerned my sister is unwittingly torpedoing my chances here today. But I’m also, honestly, kind of proud of that moment, and I don’t want the judge—or Paula—to see my face, in case I’m involuntarily smiling at the delicious memory.
“I should also mention,” Miranda continues, “that my brother also made that guy promise not to do anything like that, ever again, to anyone else. Or Caleb said he’d find out and come back and do much worse to the guy. Honestly, I’m not sure how Caleb would have been able to deliver on that threat, but he seemed pretty convincing at the time, and the guy swore up and down he’d never, ever lay a pinky on anyone else.”
Ralph’s attorney sighs. “Is that everything?”
Miranda considers. “No. But I think that’s enough for you to get the gist, right?”
“No, I want you to tell me everything.”
With a long, put-upon sigh, Miranda leans back in her chair. “If you insist.” She pauses. “Okay, well, around five years ago, some guy in a bar grabbed my ass—sorry, your honor, my bottom—and my brother knocked the jerk out cold with one punch.” Miranda smiles at me. “The whole bar cheered him on, and a female bartender sent my brother a big bottle of champagne to thank him. Apparently, the guy was a known menace at that bar, a friend of the owner’s, apparently, who couldn’t be banned; and the whole bar was thrilled to watch him go down.”
“Was he badly hurt?”
“Nah. He was fine. His ego was bruised more than anything, I think.” Miranda taps her chin. “Another time, not sure when, exactly, years ago, this guy in Paris grabbed my mother’s arm, really hard, and insisted she convince Caleb to take a selfie with him. My mother and I had joined Caleb for the European leg of his tour, so we were traveling with him and the band. So, anyway, this guy grabbed my mother with such a hard and scary grip, she screamed really loudly. So, Caleb flew into action and pushed the guy away from our mother. The guy wound up falling back and hitting his head on the sidewalk and going to the hospital. Apparently, he filed a lawsuit against Caleb later, but it was thrown out because the whole thing was caught on video and the judge declared Caleb’s actions ‘totally justified in defense of his mother.’”
With a smirk, Miranda takes a long drink of water. As she does that, it feels like everyone in the courtroom, including the judge, is waiting with bated breath for her next stomach-churning story about me.