Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
No more slammed doors, Caleb.
You can’t control your emotions, but you can control your behavior in reaction to them.
Fucking hell.
More to prove I’m not the man-child Aubrey thinks I am than anything else, I gently close the door behind me with a soft and civilized click, despite how much I want to feel the satisfaction of a good slam. The door closed, I peel off my clothes, slide into bed, and deal with my raging hard-on; once again, while fantasizing about little miss rule-follower, Aubrey Capshaw, having a squirting orgasm all over my face.
Chapter 18
Caleb
“Yes, you wanted to sneak away last night, but you didn’t,” my counselor, Gina, says on my computer screen. “That’s all that matters. Thoughts aren’t actions, Caleb. Actions are what matter.”
I’ve never been as honest with Gina, as I’m being during this Zoom call. Up till now, I’ve viewed myself as an unwilling hostage of rehab. A victim. And so, I’ve acted accordingly. Remained tight-lipped. Made Gina pull teeth to get anything out of me. But this morning, for some reason, I woke up wanting to try something new—to give today’s session a genuine effort. And so, right off the bat, I admitted the bad thing I was planning to do last night. The thing Aubrey sniffed out and thwarted, thereby saving me from myself.
“You should tell Aubrey the truth about last night,” Gina, my counselor, says. “The more honest you are with her, the more she can help you.”
I lean back in my chair, twisting my lips. I can’t believe how close I came to disaster last night. I haven’t wanted to admit it to myself, but maybe I need rehab, after all. “I’ll think about it.”
When the counseling session ends, I close my laptop, get up from the kitchen table, and look for Aubrey in the living room. When the room is empty, I look for Aubrey in the workout/playroom, figuring she might be doing yoga in there. But when she’s not there, I head outside and discover Aubrey sitting on a workout mat on the patch of grass in front of the shoreline. She’s dressed in workout gear, but she’s not presently doing yoga. She’s got her knees up and her forehead pressed against them, and her shoulders are shaking with sobs.
Shit. I rush to Aubrey and dive onto the ground next to her. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? What happened?”
When Aubrey lifts her head, my heart cracks at the sight of her sad little face. I open my arms to her, reflexively, inviting her to turn to me for comfort; but she only lowers her head again and sobs into her arms.
Not knowing what else to do, I rub her quaking back. “Tell me, baby. Please.” I look around, my hackles up. Did the guy on the rowboat come back? Was he Ralph Beaumont, after all?
Aubrey lifts her head and sniffles. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what? Babysit me? Because you’re doing a great job of that. In fact—"
“I’m only twenty-four!” she shrieks, her dark eyes rimmed with tears. “Less than a month ago, I lost my lifelong best friend, and now, suddenly I’ve got to be a full-time, single mother who also has to babysit your ass, while also helping you transform into a model fucking father, while also learning to be a good parent myself, even though I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing!”
I rub her back. “It’s okay, baby. You’re doing great.”
“I’m faking it! I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, Caleb!”
“Take a deep breath, sweetheart. Breathe, Aubrey. You’re a superstar.”
Aubrey hiccups and wipes her eyes. “I had another nightmare about Claudia last night. The worst one yet. She begged me not to let her father take Raine away and do to her what he did to Claudia as a child.”
My heart stops. Aubrey has told me about Ralph beating Claudia’s mother. But she hasn’t said a word about Ralph beating Claudia, too.
“Ralph used to hit Claudia?”
Aubrey’s nostrils flare. “He did something worse than that. The worst possible thing, over and over again, beginning when she was around nine or ten.”
My stomach revolts. “Jesus Christ.”
“Claudia confessed it to me when we were twelve. But she told me he’d kill her and her mother if I told anyone, so I never did. And now, she’s gone, and I have to live with my mistake forever.” She wipes her eyes. “My parents would have helped Claudia and her mom, if I’d been smart enough to tell them the truth. I should have known that.”
“You were a kid.”
Aubrey shakes her head woefully. “Ralph told Claudia nobody would believe her, because he was a police officer, and she believed him. So, I did, too. But now, as an adult, I can plainly see we simply played into his hand.” She puts her hands over her face. “And now, thanks to me, it’s going to be my word against Ralph’s at the hearing, because Claudia isn’t here to tell the judge the truth, and I don’t know if my word will be enough to keep Raine safe.”