Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
We laughed and dried off before both of us sobered again. The air in the bathroom thickened with the past and the truth of how big of a mistake this was.
“I’m gonna head to my room. Don’t miss me too much while you’re in Cali. I can send you a dick pic if you want…just to help you make it through.”
“Please don’t. That’s all we need is photos of your penis to show up all over the internet.”
“Are you going to leak them?”
“No, but you don’t have the best luck. Somehow, it will happen.”
Wasn’t that the truth? I wrapped the towel around my waist and stood there, looking at him for a moment. Houston ran a hand through his hair, then sighed. “Cullen—”
“Good night,” I replied, not wanting to hear what he had to say.
“Cull.”
“Good luck at the interview. I’ll kick ass at our next game, then ham it up afterward, saying something sweet and sexy about you on video. They love that shit.”
Without another word, I walked out.
I lay in bed for hours afterward, unable to sleep, the memories of Houston and me a bruise on my heart that he kept pushing on without even noticing. Damn, why couldn’t I break this hold he had on me?
“Gimme your T-shirt. The one you just took off,” Houston said after we finished coming our brains out.
I frowned but didn’t question him, just tossed it over. He inhaled the scent, then pulled it over his head and added another spray of my cologne to it before tugging his own hoodie on over it.
“I like smelling like you…like that no one knows that it’s your scent on me.”
My dick perked up even though it should be down for the count. “You’re so fucking sappy.”
“You like it. Don’t pretend I can’t make you melt like no one else ever can or ever will.”
He could. He did. All the fucking time. Still, I said, “You wish. Now, get out of here before someone catches you sneaking out of my room too late.”
He nodded and went to the door. I rushed to him, pushing it closed just as he opened it, and pressed my mouth to his again.
I thrust against him, rubbed my body all along his, trying to get more of my smell onto Houston. “See you at practice,” I replied.
He smiled, blushed, then slipped out of my dorm room.
I shook the past from my head. He’d mentioned earlier how it was ironic that we could walk down the street holding hands now when that was something we would have loved before. I thought it was ironic that we didn’t have to sneak out of each other’s rooms anymore, that we lived in the same apartment, just down the hallway from each other, though in all the ways that mattered, we were still a million miles apart.
10
HOUSTON
I’d gone from Denver’s overcast sky, thick with gray, heavy-bellied clouds, to Los Angeles’s balmy blue skies. On the drive from the airport to the LA Royals’ training facility, I’d gradually shed layers of clothing the way I was attempting to shed the memories of last night with Cullen. One was easier than the other. I’d zoned out on the plane ride and gotten uncomfortably, embarrassingly hard to the mental image of sucking on Cullen’s tongue while I jerked him off.
From the very first time we’d hooked up, it had been like mainlining every erotic fantasy I’d ever had. Fumbling and awkward initially, we’d quickly become uninhibited and filthy, as if we’d both silently and mutually agreed to unleash any and all whims. It was easier if you already knew the future was a dead end and that you might as well soak it in while you could.
What I hadn’t expected back then was that knowing something was destined for failure and continuing to do it anyway would make the inevitable end so damn hard.
Maybe that was why I’d struggled so much to move on, why it’d been easier to part in anger than as friends. I’d not met a person since who could provoke savageness and tenderness in equal measure the way Cullen could or that gave me the same in return.
I could hear my brother’s voice in my head saying maybe I hadn’t been open to it, but I had. I’d tried. I wondered if, in all of his relationships after me, Cullen had managed to find the same. I also didn’t think I wanted to know.
California had long been an ambition of mine, though, a secret I’d kept close because it had seemed so unlikely. Not to mention the shit I’d have caught from my former team. Besides, the Royals had been solid for years, and management had their pick of the country-wide litter in terms of coaches and staff; everyone wanted to live in California and be part of a team like that. Management reaching out to me had been a total surprise, but I’d booked my ticket in seconds flat, ignoring the niggle at the back of my mind. I wasn’t about to give up a dream job just because I’d gotten some good D.