Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“Maybe.” I tried not to stare at his ass as his gaze swept the open space before him.
“Damn, this is nice.”
It was. As was his ass. But the latter was neither here nor there. “You can stay here a week tops. I can hook you up with plenty of other hotel options or a real estate agent. Or both.”
“Okay.” He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Thanks.”
I eyed him suspiciously. That seemed way too easy, but fuck if I was going to challenge him. It wasn’t like he’d be here much anyway. I hadn’t been when I was still playing. “C’mon.” I stepped around him and showed him to the spare bedroom Garrett had used when he’d first moved back, then let him get settled while I returned to my couch, salad, and the TV, trying hard to ignore the prickling sensation over my skin I wasn’t sure was anxiety or excitement. It’d been so long since I’d shared space with Cullen. Even back in college, we rarely got to stay overnight with each other—we’d been too afraid of getting caught. And not that that was what we were doing now. At least, not in the same way.
“Can I snag one of these Gatorades? I’ll pick up some stuff tomorrow.”
I nodded without turning around, and Cullen flopped down next to me on the couch shortly after. We both stared at the screen, and I wondered if he was as completely blind to what was happening on it as I was.
At length, I became aware of his gaze boring into me. More so my exposed knee, where I had both legs stretched out and propped on top of the coffee table. The scars from surgery had faded from angry, raised welts to pale pink but were still noticeable evidence of the wreckage that had occurred.
I cut a look aside at him. “Don’t do that pitying look bullshit. I’ve accepted what happened. I’ve moved on.” Or was at least in the process of doing so.
“It wasn’t a pitying look. It’s just…damn.” He shook his head. “I saw it happen, you know. Hard to watch.”
“I promise you it sucked as badly as it looked like it did.” I offered him a wry smile.
“I know.” He bit his lip, seeming on the cusp of saying something else before cutting himself off and reaching out instead. I flinched as his fingertips landed on the scar, and he flinched back, eyes jerking toward mine. “Hurt?”
“No,” I grunted. At least, not physically, not the way he thought it did. His fingers resumed their featherlight trek, lifting goose bumps on my thigh before he drew back again.
“I’m sorry.”
An odd heaviness moved through my chest, joining the buzz on my skin from the proximity, his touch. I didn’t know if he was apologizing for the injury like so many others had or something else. I supposed it didn’t matter. “Me too.”
“I do need this to work,” he said a few moments later, his voice quiet. “You called it. I feel like my career is really on the line this time, and I’m not ready to give it up yet, at least not by my own dumb external shit. You were always good at staying focused, at drowning everything out. Being around you back then…” He paused, seeming to choose his words carefully. “It helped me do the same. It was…grounding.”
I knew he was being sincere because Cullen rarely dived deep into emotional stuff with anyone. I’d known that from the start. I’d been the same. But somehow, we’d gone there with each other. It wasn’t something I’d ever been able to explain to anyone else. Not even myself. “I can’t be your babysitter or lightning rod, Cullen.”
“Not asking you to, McRae. I’m just telling you how it was for me.” He scrubbed a hand over his scruffy jaw. “Maybe I just thought a couple of days would help me get back in that mindset. Fuck, I don’t know.” He polished off the Gatorade. “I’m gonna crash. Hear that?” He cocked his head and put a finger to his ear.
“Silence?”
He grinned. “Yeah, it’s fucking golden.”
I would have agreed, but as I listened to the sound of his footsteps on the floor, the door shutting behind him, I had to admit the sound of his voice in my ears was dangerously comfortable.
“You can’t seriously be considering putting that into your body.” I snatched the frozen pizza out of Cullen’s hands. “BBQ chicken and pineapple? Have some goddamn self-respect.”
Cullen snatched the pizza back and narrowed his eyes at me. “Awfully judgy for a guy who didn’t complain when I put his dick in my body.”
Damn, he caught me off guard sometimes. I snatched the box back and went so far as to stick it back on the shelf in the frozen section of the grocery store we were in. “My dick is wholesome. Or was. This is garbage.” I pushed him toward the frozen vegetables as he barked out a laugh.