Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
“One last shot,” his mom said, holding up her glass. “To Rowen, who is always welcomed in our family.”
I held up my glass, trying to keep in the torrential downpour of feelings inside me.
I’d never felt welcomed in my own family, even before shit got bad.
And Shane’s family wanted to welcome me in already. With open arms and open hearts.
I took the shot, swallowing past that tightness in my throat, barely keeping it together. There was no denying it anymore. I wanted this to be real. I didn’t want my old life anymore—didn’t want to be anywhere near people who would judge me for no reason other than my family name.
I cleared my throat as everyone went off to mingle. I caught a break as Frankie and his fiance took Shane off to another conversation, and I managed to slip away and out the back door. A couple of people were out back on a smoke break and one man was on the edge of the yard on a phone call.
I made my way to the opposite end of the yard, sitting by myself on a yard chair next to the unused fire pit. The backyard was fairly simple but had plenty of space, and from where I was sitting I could look up at the big, mature oak tree that formed a canopy over this corner of the backyard. They’d strung lights up the trunk as far as they could, and a warm glow was cast over the area where I sat.
I sucked in cold air, trying to wrest my emotions back from the cliff they’d been on.
I’d only been sitting outside for a couple of minutes before I heard crunching on the ground behind me. I turned and saw Shane, and instantly the dam broke.
A few tears fell down my face as he walked over, sitting on the other chair near mine.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “My parents have been drinking, and—”
“Don’t apologize,” I said, wiping off my tears. “Please don’t.”
He looked down at the ground. “I never should have made you do this. The whole fake boyfriend thing just feels wrong.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s been feeling amazing to me, actually,” I said.
He furrowed his brow. I hated seeing him like this—so earnest and sweet, even while I felt like a mess. He deserved better. Deserved something fucking real.
He deserved the truth.
Even if it wasn’t magical at all.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
I looked him in the eye.
“I got an email at the beginning of the night that my agent in New York dropped me,” I said, my voice coming out flat and lifeless. “It’s over for me in the city, I think.”
He instantly reached out and grabbed my shoulder. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s probably for the better.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Didn’t want to ruin the fun night at the party,” I said.
“You never ruin anything,” he said softly. “I like knowing about your life, and I’m not sure when you’ll understand that.”
Another tear broke off from my eye. “But I—I don’t think this is just about the email, Shane,” I said, my voice shaking a little.
Shit.
I was really going to do it. I felt the gears turning inside me, unstoppable at this point.
I was going to tell him the entire truth, and probably make a fool of myself. But when my whole life was already unrecognizable… what else did I have to lose?
“I’m here,” he said.
My heart wrenched. He was sweeter than I knew a person could be.
“I don’t want this to end,” I said, gesturing to the space between us. “This is pathetic, but pretending to be your boyfriend has been the best thing I’ve felt in a really long time.”
At first I couldn’t bear to look up at him. I felt tension blooming, like a bubble ready to pop. My heart beat like a drum inside me, knowing this was too much. Knowing I was too much.
But when I finally looked up at him, I saw a tear rolling down his cheek too.
“I thought I was the only one,” he said in a low voice.
Something turned over inside me, a seismic shift.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’ve been dreading the end of this party for a while, now,” he said, his gaze fixed on mine. “I don’t want this to end, either.”
I puffed out a breath like I was exhaling, coming up for air after being trapped underwater.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
He laughed suddenly, like he couldn’t believe it, either. “I didn’t want to ruin the magic, either.”
My throat was tight again, but for a whole different reason, now.
Holy God.
I reached out, grabbing his hand in mine, almost like I needed to touch him to make sure this was real.
“I feel so good with you. I can’t explain it.”
“I can’t either,” he told me. “I thought I was just going nuts because I’d been in a dry spell, and… and I kept thinking you’d wake up one day and realize you’d made a huge mistake. I’m a guy. And not just a guy, a random nobody in Tennessee. And you’re… smart, and accomplished, and so cool.”