Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 25921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 86(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 25921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 86(@300wpm)
I exit the bathroom and join Ava at the kitchen table.
“Everything okay?” she asks.
“Just give me three minutes,” I say with gritted teeth. “And then I’ll let you know.” I try to force my mind to stay blank but it’s tough. I can’t dwell on the worst-case scenario because I’ll drive myself crazy. But what is the worst-case scenario? That I’m having Channing’s baby, or that he doesn’t want the child? I don’t know what has me feeling more sick.
Finally, enough time has passed and Ava stands from the table, silently volunteering to retrieve the indicator. My heart’s going a million miles an hour as she disappears into the bathroom. Then, my friend comes out a second later, her expression somber. I know the results even before I take the indicator to see for myself.
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, tears streaking down my face. “I’m actually pregnant.”
“Jolene, don’t cry.” She hands me a tissue box while stroking my hair. “Everything will be okay. Trust me! A baby is a miracle.”
But what Ava hasn’t internalized is that the father of my baby doesn’t want this child. He’s been paying me five thousand dollars a week for access to my body, and once he decides he’s done, I’ll be out on my own. Our acquaintance will be over. So I can’t be pregnant, and yet I want to be at the same time. These conflicting feelings make my pulse race because Ava’s right: a baby is a blessing, and I’d love to have Channing’s son or daughter growing under my heart. But what about my horrific work situation? What do I do?
With tears in my eyes, I rush into my old bedroom. I grab a beat-up suitcase, wrestling it out of the closet, and then throw it on top of my bed and start tossing clothes inside. Ava comes to stand in the doorway, watching me with confusion.
“Jo, what are you doing?” she asks. “Are you taking all of that stuff to Channing’s penthouse? I thought he bought you a whole new wardrobe.”
I shake my head furiously, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“No. I can’t go back there.”
She stares at me, utterly confused. “Wait, what?”
I stop for a moment, turning to look at my best friend.
“Ava, Channing Saint doesn’t want this baby. He’s a man who glides through life, buying the things he needs. He bought me, and now, I come with a load of trouble.” Hot tears fill my throat and I swallow hard in an attempt to make them go away. “There’s no way I can tell Channing because what if he asks me to get rid of the baby? I can’t because I already love him or her. I want this child,” I say fiercely.
She places a hand on my arm and tries to soothe me. “You’re panicking, Jolene. You’re not making any sense. How do you know any of that without asking him first? Maybe he wants the child. At least give him a chance.”
I shake my arm free and push my suitcase closed. “You don’t know Channing, Ava, and I do. I know that I want to keep this baby, but if I tell him I’m pregnant and he even suggests that I get rid of it, I… I don’t know if I could ever look at him again.” I wipe tears from my eyes with my sleeve. “I have to get out of here.”
“Jolene, no! Please don’t go. Not like this. At least give Channing an opportunity to have his opinion heard—”
I shake my head again, wiping a fist across my nose. It comes away sticky and gummy, but this isn’t the time to worry.
“I can’t, Ava,” I say in a rushed voice. “This is for the best.” I yank the suitcase off of my bed and tow it to the front door. “I promise I’ll call you once I get settled somewhere.”
“But where are you going?” she asks, her voice plaintive. “What about –"
But I’m out the door before she can finish her sentence, off to start a new life for me and my child. After all, my priorities have changed on a dime, and now, I’m out on my own.
8
Jolene
* * *
I’m standing in front of a map of the United States outside of the bus terminal, trying to decide where to go. I want to travel to Kansas and see my parents because it’d be so easy to fall into their arms and let them take care of me. But that’s too obvious, and it’s also not a what a mature woman does.
After all, I’m trying to make this a clean break, and my parents’ house will be the first place Channing hits. Instead, I need to go somewhere random, somewhere that I’ve never been before. I close my eyes and point at the map. When I open them, my fingers are hovering over San Diego. I’ve heard it’s a nice place with lots of sunshine and sand. For now, that’s enough and I head into the bus terminal to buy a ticket for California.