Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 115619 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115619 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
“I don’t care how many people you’ve thrown in the back of your car. Whatever you want to say to me can wait till I’m ready to hear it.”
“That’s the problem. I couldn’t wait another second. I had to see you, had to see with my own eyes that you’re okay.” That snide, teasing note calling from his voice is replaced by something that could be mistaken for tenderness.
I know it's not real. It can't be. Nothing about him is real. If it were, he wouldn’t have so casually lied to me about his marriage, making me believe what we had was real.
“I'm fine. I'm back at work, living my life. Thank you for asking.” I jiggle the handle, glaring at him, pressing myself against the door when he moves closer. The heat of his body radiates through me. If he gets any closer, I risk giving in to him, and I can’t have that. “Now let me go. I need to get home..”
He lowers his brow, his eyes like burning embers. I should look away. Only I’d still feel their heat burning if I did. “There’s no running away from us, Bianca. You're not going anywhere until we talk about this,” he rumbles, leaning in close enough that all I can smell is the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Cinnamon and cloves. With him this close, it becomes harder to remember how bad of a man he is, and instead how good he could make me feel.
“See?” With both hands, I shove against his chest as hard as I can, even managing to put a little room between us. Straightening my shoulders, I let the proudness envelop me. His eyes widen with surprise, but it's not enough to keep him from reaching out to place a hand against my knee. I smack his hand away and shake my head. “I have to wonder if you’re crazy or just psycho? What would make you believe that I would allow you to touch me after the bombshell that was revealed? How can I trust you? None of this is real. We’re not real, and showing up at my work and forcing me into the back of your car will not change that.”
Even now, I know I'm lying to myself. Everything about us is real. I just don’t want to admit it right now because I’m angry. I've been duped, made a fool of. Everything I know about him, everything that might be true, it all dissolves when I'm with him. Breathing him in, staring into his eyes which glitter with an intensity I've never seen in anyone else’s. The way he looks at me, there is nothing like it.
I want him to touch me. I want him to be honest with me. I want him to tell me my Dad is wrong. I want him to make everything go away and tell me it’s going to be okay.
Mom. Think of her. Think of the lies and how he made you feel.
“Everything with Amanda can be worked out, though not if you run away from me. I haven’t even had a chance to explain things to you.” Again, he grabs my leg, and I slap his hand away again. I can’t think straight while he’s touching me.
“Explain?!” My voice raises, anger raining down on me. “There would be nothing to explain if you would’ve let me decide for myself,” I remind him, closing my legs tight while folding my arms over my chest. The last thing I want to do is deny him, for it means denying myself. I have to remain strong, however. Especially when I crave him too much. It would be so easy to give in and think it over later.
“To decide what?” he challenges.
“Why should I allow you the opportunity to explain yourself when you didn’t give me the chance to decide if I wanted to be the other woman? You didn't even tell me you two were still married. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was for her to come in and throw that in my face? And there I was, embarrassed, wishing the floor would swallow me up.”
“Amanda is no one. Just a conniving bitch trying to break down everyone around her. Don’t let her get inside your head.”
“She didn't. You did.” This time, when I reach for the door handle, he takes my hand and engulfs it in his. A silent reminder that he is much bigger than me and that I don't stand a chance if I try to fight back. “What happened… it reminded me of everything I went through…” I can’t even say his name.
“You did nothing wrong. Neither of us did.” Callum tries to soothe me, but his words mean shit. If we weren’t doing anything wrong, there wouldn’t have been a need to hide the fact that he was still married to her. Would you have crossed that line knowing that, though? I don’t know the answer to that question. I wanted Callum for as long as I could remember except lust grew into something else somewhere along the way.