Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“Oh, shit.” My phone stops ringing. I immediately call him back. “Hey.”
“Baby girl, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I got home and started talking to Monroe and forgot to call you.”
He exhales loudly. “That’s good,” he says. I know he wants to say more, but my comment that he doesn’t have the right earlier is more than likely stopping him.
“I’m home safe and sound.”
“How was your day, Em?”
“Lots of studying. My head hurts from information overload.” Not just from studying, but constantly replaying our relationship, and everything Monroe and I just talked about. “Yours?” I ask.
“Just another day.”
“Something had to have happened?”
“I missed you. Just like the day before, and the day before.”
“Rome.”
“I know. I know I’m not supposed to say that anymore, but I’ve never lied to you, Emerson, and I’m not going to start now. I miss you.”
I can feel Monroe’s eyes on me. “Maybe we should rethink this talking every day. I was holding on to you the only way that I knew how. It wasn’t fair of me to ask that of you.”
“You don’t want me to call you?”
“You can. You just don’t have to. I know you’re busy, and now that you’re not tied down, you can go out with the guys again. I heard them giving you a hard time when I was home at Christmas.”
“I have no desire to go out. Being with you, Emerson, it changed me. I’m fine with staying in at night and talking to you about anything and everything.”
“That’s what couples who are trying to overcome the distance do, Rome. That’s not us anymore.”
“Baby girl.” His voice is raspy, and I feel the pain through the line. “I don’t know if I can stop.”
“We have to try, Roman.”
“I’m not giving you up, Em. You’re my best friend. I know we said we can’t date, but dammit, I can’t just fucking cut you out of my life. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
“You don’t have to, but maybe we should cut back on the everyday calls.”
“I’ll try, baby. I’ll try for you, but I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Maybe we just text on the days we don’t call.”
“How many days before I hear your voice?”
“Let’s start with every other.”
“So tomorrow, I don’t get to talk to you?”
“We can text.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I don’t much care for it either.”
“I’ll try for you. I’m not promising you. I never want to break a promise to you, Emerson, and I feel as though this is one that I would break.”
“That’s all we can do is try.”
Every day, I wake up and I try to forget what it felt like to be his. I would constantly count down the days until I was in his arms again. Now, I try to forget what it felt like to be wrapped up in him. I even tried to not sleep with the blanket he gave me last night. I lasted an hour before I was reaching for it, and holding it so tightly in my arms, I could feel the strain in my muscles.
“I need to get to bed. I have to be up early for class.”
He hesitates. “Okay. Have a good day. Sweet dreams, baby girl.”
“Night.” My voice cracks and I hit end before he can keep me on the phone any longer. My phone falls to my lap, and Monroe launches herself at me from where she’s sitting on the other side of the couch. She wraps me in a hug while I lose my battle with my tears.
This has to get better, right? It’s been a month and I still cry at least once a day. I miss him so damn much. I miss the plans we had. I miss knowing that I had someone in this world that was all mine.
I have my brother, and he’s been my protector my entire life. I love him for it, but the love I have for Roman is different.
Then, there’s Monroe. She and I met in pre-k, and we’ve been by each other’s sides ever since. I love her like a sister, and she is my best friend, but my relationship with Rome as my best friend differs so much.
Maybe it’s the intimacy. When you bare your heart and body to someone, it’s impossible for them not to take a part of your soul. I opened myself up to him completely, and he did the same.
Sitting up, I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand. “Give it the four months, right?” I ask Monroe.
“Yeah, babe. I think things are going to work out. The road is a little bumpy, but when you get to the end, it’s going to be worth it.”
“What about spring break? How do I go home and not see him?”
“Easy. We don’t go home. It’s only a week. We can use the excuse we’re gearing up for graduation.”