Total pages in book: 224
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
I go completely still. “And?” I ask again, my voice softening.
“And I was going to keep the baby. I mean, I had a family with money and a guaranteed job. I decided it must be my destiny.”
“Where’s the baby now?”
“I miscarried.” She looks away. “I don’t know why I just told you that.” She takes a drink. “Yes, I do.” She turns to me. “It tells you who I am. I haven’t gone down the emotional path since then. I won’t. I’m not that girl. You don’t have to be an asshole to keep me on the outside. I like the outside just fine.”
Which makes her the perfect woman for me, except that statement doesn’t feel as perfect as it should. “There had to be someone since college. What about sex? You had to have—”
“I dated someone for a few years. He wanted more and I didn’t.”
“Where’s he now?”
“He met someone and fell in love, as he deserved.”
“Often people want what they can’t have. How did you react?”
“I went to his wedding. I was happy for him. He’s divorced now, Reid. So is my first ex. And I’m sure you know from your investigation that my mother left when I was five. I speak to her once every five years.”
And my mother died miserably married to my father right up until the moment she died of a stroke five years ago.
“Relationships are complicated, messy, and ugly,” Carrie adds, as if she’s just read my mind. “I don’t want any part of complicated, messy, and ugly.”
“Then let’s keep it simple. Let’s go fuck.”
“Not tonight,” she surprises me by say, and rather easily. Not never, but not tonight.
I arch a brow. “Why not tonight?”
“Because when we hate fuck, it’s not complicated, messy, or ugly. That’s when we keep everything focused on the sex. But tonight, I almost like you. That’s not good for either of us.”
“So if I want to fuck you, I need to make sure you hate me.”
She reaches up and touches my cheek. “Don’t. Don’t make me hate you again.”
Damn it, I don’t want her to hate me. At least not now, and she’s right, that’s a problem for both of us. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” I slide out of the booth and take her hand, both of us forgetting our coffees. A minute later at most, we’re outside and I drape my arm over her shoulders. In silence, we complete the short walk to her building where I turn to her, my hands on her waist.
“No fucking tonight,” I say.
“Not tonight,” she confirms again.
I cup her head. “I have to do this.” I kiss her then, a deep drugging kiss that has me hot and hard, and so damn into this woman that I don’t want to hate fuck, I don’t want that limit, and she’s right; that’s a problem, that’s trouble, the kind that has me tearing my lips from hers. “Goodnight, Carrie.” I drag my fingers over her lips, willing myself not to kiss her again before I turn and walk away. Before tonight gets complicated which always leads to messy and ugly.
Chapter twenty-one
Carrie
When I wake in my bed alone, I feel regret. Why didn’t I just go home with Reid? We’re having sex. That’s all. I let myself conjure up some fantasy that there was more happening between us. I can’t be emotional. Reid is not emotional. The board does not want emotional. Reid will be in my life and out of it in a few short months. And the closer I am to him, the more I understand the man who controls my destiny. He most certainly is using all he knows about me, which is much more than I know about him, a man influencing my future. I need to be as smart as he is and enjoy the ride. I can do this. I am just as capable as he is, and he and the board need to know that.
Therefore, I need to make a fearless statement and when I arrive to work I’m wearing a black skirt and an emerald green blouse. A blouse that matches the emerald green panties I’m wearing, which came in the box Reid delivered to my apartment last night. Obviously, he’ll know I’m either wearing those panties or taunting him with the fact that I saw them and chose not to wear them. I’m in control. I feel it right up until the moment that I realize that Reid isn’t even around to notice. He’s gone. I have no idea where and I don’t ask Connie for details or call him. Instead, I review all the proposals for growth that I was given by the staff, with disappointing results.
Desperate to find a big deal I can slam dunk, I start making a list of every major investor I’ve ever dreamt of working with and then isolate the top two. It’s nearly three in the afternoon, and I’m sitting behind my desk, talking with Sallie about the research I’ve had her working on today when Reid barks over my intercom, “My office. Now.”