Total pages in book: 224
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
My arm slides around him, while my other hand settles on his chest and I lean into him, aware that he’s looking for his own self-hatred in me, but it’s not there. I regret so much the way I phrased my question tonight and that’s what I try to say to him in that kiss. I try to let him know that I love him, I trust him, I need him. I kiss him passionately with all those thoughts and feelings in our kiss, in the way my body presses to his and in the way I hold onto him, like I’m afraid he’ll leave. And I am. I’m always afraid he’ll leave, but on some level, I know he’s afraid I’ll leave. It’s a problem for us, something we have to get by and we will.
He tears his mouth from mine and stares down at me. “I didn’t doubt you, Reid Maxwell. I swear to you on everything we have ever been and everything we will ever be in this life together. I just felt out of control myself. He scared me. I needed inside your head, one hundred percent on the same page with you, because that’s my safe place. You are my safe place.”
“I didn’t keep you safe. I should have dealt with him when he came at us over the company.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t second guess yourself. We both know you held back because you feel like you hurt him.”
“He could have hurt you.” His voice is low, rough, a gravelly quality that is all about torment and the past, as well as his love for me. “He could have come at you to get to me.”
I know in that moment that this incident is far too close to what happened in his past for him not to react. I protected him over myself today. I would have died for him. That’s how it has to be when two people love each other, and while on some level I know Reid knows this, on another, I’m not sure how he separates that from his past.
I just know that right now, he needs something from me, and I haven’t given it to him. “What do you need right here in this moment?” I ask.
“To fuck you and to hurt him before he hurts you.”
Chapter ninety-five
Carrie
Thankfully Reid appears to decide that fucking me right now is preferable to hurting Elijah. His mouth closes down on mine and I can taste his need, I can feel the outlet he craves, the anger he still hasn’t escaped. I want to be his outlet, I need to be that for him, and he needs that from me, just as I do from him. That man cornered me. He scared me and not for me but for Reid. I was afraid he would hurt him. I still am. Suddenly, I need that escape just as much as he does as well.
I sink into the kiss, pressing my hands under his T-shirt, hard muscles flexing beneath my touch, and the minute I shove it upward, he yanks it over his head and tosses it. It’s barely left his body when his hands cup my head as he says, “You’re mine now. That means I protect you. You know this.”
“And I protect you. We’ve had this conversation.”
“No. No, I protect you. Period. And I am going to protect you.”
“What does that mean, Reid? What are you saying?”
“It means you’re going to do what I tell you to do.”
“That’s not how this goes,” I promise him, but before I can push back any harder, he turns me to face the opposite direction, his hands all over my body, and then my shirt is over my head, my bra following.
“Reid, damn it,” I say, trying to turn, needing to understand exactly what protecting me means to him right now, but he catches my waist. “We need to talk. This is not us. You don’t say and I do. You don’t protect and I don’t.”
His hands cover my breasts and he steps into me, his big, hard body cradling mine, the thick pulse of his erection at my backside. “Yes,” he rebuts, pinching my nipples, “it is. You do what I say on this, Carrie. It has to be this way.” He pinches my nipples again, sending a rush of sensation through my body.
I cover his hands with mine, fighting the haze of pleasure. “Anything I agree to while your hands are on my breasts doesn’t count.”
He slides one hand between my thighs. “What about when my hands are here?”
“Definitely not there.”
He squeezes my breast and uses that distraction to unzip my pants. The next thing I know he’s lifting me, and I end up with my hands on the back of a chair as he manages to take off my sneakers. “Reid,” I pant out over my shoulder, but anything I might have said is now lost as he yanks my pants down. In a blink, they are gone, I’m naked, and his hands are all over my naked body, stroking my waist, and then up to my breasts.