Total pages in book: 224
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
He doesn’t touch me and I follow the rules. I do not touch him despite how badly I want to. He stands there, towering above me, his eyes raking over my face, my lips, my breasts before they lift and he orders, “Get on your knees.”
“You want me to—”
“Yes. Get on your knees, Carrie.”
My nerves radiate through me. I’ve never been ordered to my knees and with anyone but Reid, I’d say no. I won’t say no, but I do hesitate. This is unfamiliar. I don’t know what to expect. Reid’s hands come down on my arms and he drags me to him, his lips at my ear. “Giving up control is the ultimate control, baby. You decide what I can do, where I can go, and where we do it by accepting the command. If you trust me, if you put your pleasure in my hands, it’s the ultimate escape, a time when you don’t have to be in control. A time when I’m the only one that owns you because you let me. Trust me.”
“I do. I trust you completely.”
He tilts my gaze to his, his thumb strokes over my jaw and his lips caress my lips. The touch is light, but I feel it like a blast of heat rushing over my body, I feel it everywhere, I feel him everywhere. “What happened to not letting me touch you?” I say, my fingers flexing on the hard wall of his chest.
“You hesitated. I felt it. I was scaring you.”
“Scaring me?” I don’t like these words from him. I don’t like the way he is making himself the monster and me the timid little girl. This, I realize, is what he’s made himself since the shooting. The monster, the scary monster. “You don’t scare me, Reid Maxwell. You should know that by now.” And suddenly, I understand. He’s right. I have the control right now. I’m the one who gives and takes trust. I’m the one who makes him worthy of that trust.
I ease down his body and onto my knees.
I give myself to him and show him I’m willing to go, and do, anything with him.
Chapter eighty-seven
Reid
Iknow that some part of me is reacting to events that have nothing to do with Carrie, and everything to do with other things. I’m pushing her, pushing her away, and that’s not what I want.
The minute Carrie is on her knees, naked and willingly submissive, I’m on one knee in front of her. “I’m not afraid of you, Reid Maxwell,” she declares, her voice thick with emotion.
I tangle my fingers into the silky strands of her hair and drag her mouth a breath from mine, breathing her in, her naked body pressed to mine. “I don’t want you to be afraid. That’s the point.”
“You’re the one who’s afraid,” she accuses, “and I no longer accept that from you.”
“Of your fear. Of you holding back. Of you not trusting me.”
“You have all of me. My God, Reid. You have all of me. I have nothing else to give.”
She’s wrong. She does. She just doesn’t know it and I can’t help myself. I’m going to take it tonight. Where I didn’t want trust from anyone before her, I have to have it with Carrie. Trust is the ultimate commitment, almost more so than love which is why I never wanted it from anyone, except her. Now I want it from her in a way that I cannot even understand. As if her willingness to trust me makes me worthy of it and her.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Whatever you want from me, Reid, you can have it.”
“More, Carrie. And when you walk down that aisle, every part of you will be there with me.”
“Show me what that means.”
“My God, woman, what are you doing to me?” I demand, my mouth crashing down on hers.
And just like every moment when I’m with her, when I’m touching her, I can’t remember why taking what she offers is a problem. I can’t remember anything but how much this woman consumes me, how much I need her. How much I can’t live without her.
My tongue strokes against hers, caressing, taking, drinking in the taste of her, all sweet with submission and ripe with demand, one part willing woman, two parts challenge. I know I’ll never fully control her, and that scares the hell out of me. I can’t protect what I can’t control and yet she’s perfect as she is, everything I need and want.
I tear my mouth from hers, breathing her in.
“What don’t I know that you still haven’t told me?” she whispers. “Where are you right now, Reid?”
“I’m right here, baby, with you.” My hands go to her arms, my gaze sweeps over her high, full breasts and return to her face, challenging her, “Do you know what I want, Carrie?”