Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
“This steak is really good,” I praise, keeping my head down and trying to get control of myself. I know changing the subject to the food is lame, but I can’t help it. My mind is a mess. I’ve never really dealt with emotions when it came to guys. Mostly because I was pretty sure the rape left me broken. Victor is the only one who has broken through.
“Hey, don’t do that,” Victor says, and I look at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Kitten, I could actually see you shutting doors on me. You don’t get to do that with me. I’m your safe place, remember? I think I’ve proven that since we met. Just because you know how I feel about you now, doesn’t mean things have changed—especially not that. No matter what happens between us, I will always be here for you.”
My heart hammers against my chest. I know he means what he’s saying. I guess I just didn’t realize he could read me so well. I have a strange feeling that he has always had that ability—he just kept it hidden from me.
“It’s just that you’ve changed.”
“Changed?”
“In how you’re treating me. I mean, not that you’re treating me bad, it’s just that you’re acting like you have feelings for me—”
“There is no acting, Kitten. Honestly, I’ve always been like this, you just didn’t realize the feelings I have for you are more encompassing than friendship.”
“True,” I whisper. I swallow as our gazes lock and there’s no way I can look away from him. I moisten my lips and rub them together as I try to respond in a way that he will understand. “It just seems like your intentions have changed overnight. I don’t know how to trust that this is real.”
“Gia, I have never given you a reason to think you couldn’t trust me, sweetheart. Right?”
“I know. Please don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just that you’re asking for a relationship, even knowing how messed up I am at times. You’re just…”
“Just, what? Tell me,” he urges.
“You’re giving me what I’ve wanted since I first met you, Victor and I’m scared.” I don’t know why I’m confessing all of this to him. I shouldn’t. Isn’t there a rule somewhere that girls are supposed to play coy and hard to get until the guy falls in love with them? I know I shouldn’t just blab about everything I’m feeling, but this is Victor and I’ve always relied on him since the first night we met.
“You’ve wanted me since the night we first met?” he asks. Now, I’m blushing as well as being mortified for telling him how I feel.
“I think now is a good time to talk about the steak again,” I mutter.
He puts his hand under my chin and gives me no alternative but to meet his gaze. “Fuck, I’ve made mistakes with you,” he practically groans. “I have wanted you since the moment I first saw you. If I had just acted on that, maybe I wouldn’t have had both of us suffering this torture for the last year.”
“You felt like being near me was torture? I’m not sure that’s what I want to hear,” I grumble.
“It was torture because I constantly wanted to kiss you, to hold you—”
I find my smile instantly. “Well, that’s okay, then,” I practically purr, feeling warm all over.
“I wanted to do a hell of a lot more to you, but I figure if I tell you, you might blush even more than you are already.”
“I probably would,” I admit.
“The point is, it might feel sudden, but it’s not at all to me.”
“Okay, then why does this date feel like we’re jumping from being friends to hyper-drive, and that doing it has made you nervous? You’re Victor. You never get nervous about picking the wrong place to eat, or what we are doing. You don’t worry. I have a feeling that is woven into your DNA. When you act unsure, it makes everything that I’m feeling worse,” I tell him honestly.
“So, you’re saying our first real date is kind of a bust?” he jokes, sadly. His lips are turned up a little on the end and he’s beautiful, but I can see the regret in his eyes.
“Maybe it’s too late,” I finally admit, although it hurts to say it out loud. “We’ve been friends too long and maybe it’s just hard to change that. Maybe it’s impossible.”
“That’s a lot of maybes, Kitten.”
I shrug for an answer.
He stands up, coming around to scoot my chair out. I’m surprised and I can admit that I’m disappointed as well. I had hoped he’d argue with me. It’s clear he’s not going to, and I don’t even blame him. Why couldn’t I have just kept my mouth shut? I’m such an idiot and I can’t even blame him.