Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
“Honey, it’s not that we don’t think you’re strong enough. You’re as much a warrior as anyone here. You don’t take shit and you’re not afraid to give as good as you get. But that’s not your nature. Me? Lemon? Everyone who knows you. We want to keep that part of you safe and encourage those tender feelings in you.” I smiled at her before leaning in to brush my lips against hers briefly. “The truth is, we need people like you to keep us grounded. To remind us why we do what we do. Otherwise, the killin’ we have to do would suck out our souls eventually.”
She blinked up at me. “That might be the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
That got a chuckle from me. “Well, it’s the truth, baby. You are the heart and soul of everyone around you.”
She leaned into my chest again, her tears wetting my shirt, but this time they seemed less bitter. “I just need you to promise me, Deacon. No more secrets, no more trying to shield me by pushing me away. If we’re doing this… if we’re really doing this, it’s got to be together. All in, side by side.”
I nodded, pressing my forehead against hers. “No more secrets,” I confirmed. “Everything out in the open, even the ugly parts. Even the dangerous bits.”
“That’s all I ever wanted.” Apple’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time they sparkled with a different emotion -- hope, maybe even forgiveness. “You’re still an asshole, though.” She gave me a disgruntled look before pressing her lips to mine in a sweet kiss.
“Yeah, baby. Got that. Lemon made it known too.”
She tilted her head. “Yeah? What’d she say?”
“Oh, it wasn’t so much what she said as what she did. My balls hurt so bad I’m surprised I can walk straight.”
Apple gave me a brilliant smile. “Good. That means I don’t have to.” Her smile faded then and she took on a serious mien. “I mean it, Deacon. If we do this, if we really try again, it can’t be like before. You can’t just decide things for me -- no matter how good your intentions are.”
I nodded, understanding the weight of her words. “I know. And I swear to you I won’t repeat the same mistakes. We’ll make decisions together this time.” It was a promise I intended to keep, a lesson I had learned the hard way. “I’m not going to lose you because I’m stupid, Apple.”
She gave a delicate snort. And, really, it was just too cute for words. Finally, I could see my Apple peeking out from the fort she’d built around her emotions, and I wanted to thump my chest and howl with jubilation. “You’re a guy, Deacon. It’s an unspoken truth that you’re gonna do stupid shit.”
That made me bark out an unexpected laugh. “Yeah, baby. I can’t deny that. Pesky Y chromosome.”
“Exactly. Does something to muddle the mind.”
And just like that, the weight of the world lifted just a little from my shoulders. My knees went weak, and I had to back up a couple steps to the sofa so I could collapse, still holding Apple tightly in my arms.
I buried my face in her neck, inhaling her sweet fragrance. “Fuckin’ wildflowers and honey,” I muttered against her skin.
“What?”
“Your smell. Wildflowers and honey.”
She gave me a shy smile. “You like the way I smell?”
“I love every fuckin’ thing about you, Apple.”
She rested her head on my shoulder, and I felt her relax in a way she hadn’t in a long time. Not even after we’d made love. Her body was no longer tense with the burden of unspoken words and pent-up frustrations. Instead, there was a softness, an easing of the sharp edges that had defined our recent encounters. “I love you too, Deacon.”
“You never made it a secret. You were all in with me from the very first. I was too. Just had trouble showing it. First because you were fuckin’ sixteen. Then because of all the shit I had to do.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t say you weren’t warned I was trouble. The signs were there.”
I grinned. “Yeah. Trouble with a capital T-R-O-U-B-L-E.”
Apple pulled back slightly, the glint of determination returning to her gaze. “Then we start fresh. Tabula rasa.”
I frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It’s Latin for ‘blank slate’.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“Just know that, if you do this again, if you break my heart like you did, Lemon won’t have to kill you. I’ll do it myself.”
“I hear you, baby. Loud and clear.”
“Good. Now. I think we should celebrate.” She gave me a big, bright smile that had me melting, putty in her hands.
“Whatever you want. Name it and it’s yours.”
She leaned in to whisper in my ear. “I want to suck your cock. Then, when you can’t hold back anymore, I want you to put me on my hands and knees, mount me from behind, and fuck the shit outta me.”