Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Apple crossed her arms, her posture rigid as the wind gusted through an open window, pulling strands of her blonde hair across her face. “You always think you know what I need,” she said, the resentment in her tone palpable. “But you don’t, Deacon. You never did. At least not when it mattered.”
“What would you have had me do, Apple? Huh?” I wanted to pull my hair out. There was a war going on inside me. One part of me knew I needed to let her go. I’d been right all those months ago. She was way too young for me. Twenty to my thirty. “I knew I was bringing danger to the Iron Tzars’ gate.”
“They didn’t send anyone away, Deacon,” she shot back. “If we’d been in that much danger, Sting would have put all the women and children on lockdown, or sent them away. Bones. Salvation’s Bane. Black Reign. All of them would have offered to take everyone in. Hell, the Shadow Demons would have taken everyone in and put us in the lap of luxury, pooling all their considerable resources and manpower to get the danger away from us if Sting thought it was warranted.” She thumped her chest with her fist. “You saying it was only me who was in danger? Because I won’t believe it. No. You made a decision for me, without letting me be part of that decision. I’m not sure how you managed to keep it all from Lemon, but if you brought the same danger here you did to Iron Tzars, then you broke my heart for nothing!” She wailed that last part in an anguished cry.
The truth stung, more than I’d like to admit. She was right. I had made decisions for both of us without her input, thinking I knew best, thinking I was keeping her safe when in reality, I was just pushing her further away. Every choice I’d made, every action I’d taken driven by my desire to protect her had only served to harm her.
I took a slow step toward her. “You’re a hundred percent right. I fucked up. I won’t lie and tell you Sting was all in with what I did. The fear was that I hadn’t hidden my relationship with you well enough. That someone from these cells I’d been trying to infiltrate would come after you to hurt me. I sat next to Borris Illivitch for months before I took down that first group. I looked into his eyes, listened to his depraved tales. When I was finally able to find the next link in the chain, I let him see what I was capable of. I let him live in case I needed him, but that was the biggest mistake of my life. It was what made me push you away from me.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you’re here now. You ran me off from Iron Tzars and one sister. Do you think you can force me away from my twin too?”
“No, Apple. I’ve not come here for a repeat of our last meeting. Lemon called me after you were shot. I don’t know how much she knows, but she told me I was an ass and that you needed me.”
“Well, she was wrong. I don’t need you. I’ll be fine on my own.”
“I’m not leavin’ you again. Not now. Not ever.”
“Oh, come on! You’re so fucking arrogant! You think I’ll… what? Take you back just like that? We were supposed to have started our life together over two years ago! I’d say you lost the right to ask to see me when you told me you needed some rest before we could hang out.”
“Damnit, Apple! I’m not leaving until I know you’ve healed. You could have died!”
“You think I don’t know that? But my actions saved Calista’s life so I don’t regret them. Now, while I appreciate you coming when my sister called, I don’t need you here. I don’t want you here.”
Chapter Six
Apple
The second I uttered the words, I knew I’d made a pretty bad error. Deacon was a bastard and I hated him right now, but he also knew me better than I knew myself. As a result, he could tell when I was lying. Like I was doing right now. Because, I didn’t not want Deacon here. Oh, no. I desperately wanted him here. I thought I might even need him here. No one had ever made me feel as safe and loved as Deacon had. Before. I wanted those feelings back. I needed them to feel whole again, but I wasn’t sure I could ever reclaim what we’d lost.
“You’re lying,” he whispered. “You do want me here.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I don’t think I am.” He took a slow step toward me, keeping me away from the door and freedom. “You want me here.”