Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
I’m taking her word for it because she started from the bottom too.
Sometimes it takes a fighter to make a fighter. Bailey needs to use her teeth and nails to claw her way out of this addiction. Breaking her heart was the hardest thing I had to do, and still, I did it because it means helping her mend her life.
Dad joins us on the patio, sulking. With his hands tucked inside his front pockets, he asks, “So how was saying goodbye to Bails?”
“Awesome. Thinking of making it a daily occurrence.”
“Jaime told me she signed up for a ninety-day program.” He toes his loafer over the dirt, refusing to look at Dixie, like a preschooler. “Seems like a reputable place. You should be happy.”
Happy? Not in this lifetime. Hopeful, sad, exhausted, and relieved, however? Yeah.
Honestly, my thoughts are a tangled mess. I won’t be able to truly tell what’s going on until we’re on the other side of this and Bailey is out of rehab.
Pressing my lips into a hard line, I admit, “It fucking sucks being in love with a girl and not knowing if she is going to make it through the night.”
“I know,” Dad rasps. “I’ve been there. It’s also the best to wake up and see that she is still there, breathing.”
I can practically hear Dixie swallowing hard, glancing between us. “I’ll leave you two to it.” She disappears back into the house.
I stare at Dad, and he stares back, and for a moment, I think he is going to go after her.
But he clears his throat instead. “The Air Force Academy? I hope you get in. I can’t think of anyone more capable. Knight…I always knew what he needed from me. A father figure. A mentor. Not you. I always kind of felt like you could be more of a father figure to me than vice versa. And that scared me. So sometimes…” He heaves a sigh. “Most times, I just left you to your own devices, trusting you’d do the right thing. I’m sorry I wasn’t more involved. More alert to your needs and wants.”
Chewing on my upper lip, I say, “It wasn’t just your fault. I saw an opportunity to make you happy, and I have this awful savior complex since I couldn’t save Mom. And you wanted to be saved.” I shrug. “I sometimes miss Mom’s family gatherings on your bed. We’d sit there and talk for hours about our feelings. Doesn’t work so well, though, with three six-foot-three dudes.”
Dad laughs. “Not so well, no. I’ll need two California kings to squeeze the three of us together. But you can still always talk to me.”
“I know.” I screw my mouth sideways. “I mean, now I do.”
“And for my part, I promise not to hang all my hopes and dreams on you and Knight. I have a few ideas in mind, though.”
My eyes travel to the glass door, and I raise an eyebrow. Dad shakes his head. “It’s not what you think, but yeah. Guess Dixie is a part of that plan too. We’ll never be together. It’ll just have to be…unconventional. Hug it out?” Dad suggests.
Mom always used to demand we hug shit out before we parted ways.
She didn’t like it when we left on bad terms with each other. Said it is a trait of people who took life for granted because you never really know if you’ll see the other person again.
You just assume. She even went as far as calling it a god complex when Knight and I would brawl about shit like who ate the last Nakd Bar (always Knight. Also, side note: I’d never felt so cheated as when I was fourteen and Knight teasingly offered me a Nakd Bar, and I thought he was taking me to my first titty place).
Now, Dad steps into my space, gathers me in his arms, and squeezes me so hard, my bones are grinding against one another.
I laugh into his shoulders. “Cut it out, psycho.”
“What are you gonna do if…?” He leaves the rest of the question unfinished. If I don’t get into the Air Force.
“Enlist. Prove myself while I serve. Then reapply.”
His body goes rigid against mine, but he doesn’t argue.
“I love you, Levy.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
“She’ll be okay,” he says, and I know exactly who he means.
I let my forehead drop on his neck and take a deep breath. “I know.”
CHAPTER 40
Lev
The day after Bailey goes off to rehab, I return to school.
I haven’t been in over two weeks. Spent my entire time loitering outside her hospital room. Then after she was discharged, I was too much of a wreck to pretend to give half a crap about my grades.
I’m not the only one. Pretty much everyone I know who has been accepted to a college or already sent their application has checked out mentally.