Total pages in book: 209
Estimated words: 196085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 980(@200wpm)___ 784(@250wpm)___ 654(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 196085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 980(@200wpm)___ 784(@250wpm)___ 654(@300wpm)
I’ll figure it out.
“Who was that?” Ginger asks, bounding back through the room and sitting up cross-legged on the bed, still looking down at her hand with stars in her eyes.
“No one.” I bark back, harsher than she deserves. “Sorry, baby, just some last strings to tie up. Just call Contessa and have her bring you some water and something healthy to eat and your vitamins, okay? Do that for Daddy will you? I have to take care of some things.”
I see irritation in her eyes.
One thing we’ve been talking about is being more open. Well, especially me about my work. But fuck, if I tell her too much it will just put her more in harm’s way than she already is. When this is done, when I’m out of this line of work, I vow to be more forthcoming. But right now, this is for her own good.
“No, tell me who it was.” She counters, determination in those sweet eyes and my heart lurches in my chest. “This whole secretive thing, I hate it.”
I blurt out without thinking, “It’s my accountant. I’ve got a tax issue. Nothing to worry about, baby, but I’ve been putting it off and the deadline to file some paperwork is tomorrow. He’s going out of town so I have to call him back right away. Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s taking care of it.”
The lie hangs in between us for a long moment before she giggles and shrugs. “Fine, I’ll get something to eat and after I go outside to the garden, then I’ll go to the baby store in town. You know that little boutique one on the corner by Amiri’s salon?”
“That’s great, baby. Be careful, though. Take your phone. Spend whatever you want. You’ve got the Amex right? Let me know when you leave, when you get there and if you go anywhere else, okay?” I nod, “I’ve got a few hours of work to do here.”
19
Ginger
I push out my non-existent baby belly, looking at myself in the full-length mirror in the master bath. I’m still naked and I can see my entire body as I push out my belly as far as I can, one hand on top of the roundness that’s there and one underneath, like those preggo pics everyone takes these days.
I imagine that little thing growing inside me that is half Stas and half me. I’d never wanted children, my upbringing didn’t give me much to work with I suppose. My own childhood stolen from me, I guess I didn’t think I could give a child anything but more of the same.
Stas and I will be different though. I know I’m not a product of my past now and I wonder how my own mother could have allowed the things she did.
Granted, she was always in the shadows of my grandmother. And my father, for that matter. I guess in my way I loved her, but she never protected me. She pushed me as much as the others to be the image of what they deemed acceptable and I can’t imagine doing that to a child of my own.
The childhood I never had will be the one I give my own. Wonder and safety. Security and free will. Protection and support.
And food.
If he or she wants to eat cake for breakfast I’ll probably allow it.
I’ll never push him or her into the life I had. Good thing Stas is here to keep all us littles under control, at least to some extent. He knows how to allow fun, yet he’ll keep everyone safe and I know he will be the most amazing father ever.
We will have the family I never did.
I rifle through my closet and pick out a sundress with a highish waist that will accentuate the baby bump I wish was there. I don’t care, I want to be round and have everyone touch my belly and ask when I’m due.
I pull my hair up in a wet ponytail, anxious to get to see the donkeys, to play a little in the garden then get to the store and have my first go at baby things. Stas has already given me an Amex with no limit and I wonder if he will regret that very soon.
I slip on my pink flats and grab my purse on the way down the stairs. I go outside and play with Romper and Geisha for a bit, then pull a few weeds in my faerie garden, but I’m anxious to get to the store so I cut my time outside short and head back through the house. Grabbing my purse and keys, I pause to check myself in the mirror above the fireplace as I go by.
“I’m going!” I yell down the hall as I open the door to the garage.
In the distance I hear a muffled, “Be careful. Text me pictures when you’re there. You put your bracelet back on?”