Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58442 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58442 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
“Shea, this isn’t about the kiss. This is about me looking at you every day, knowing that we will never be anything more than friends. I don’t know how I fell in love with you, but I did, and it hurts so fucking badly to look at you and know that you will never feel the same way about me,” Christian said hoarsely. He was practically sober again, throwing up definitely had a part in that.
“So you’re saying that the only way to keep you in my life is to be in a relationship with you?” Shea asked, taking a step forward.
Christian frowned as he thought about it. “I guess, I don’t see any other way,” he answered, shaking his head.
Shea got scary quiet, deep in thought. He took a deep breath and said the one thing that Christian NEVER expected to hear. “Then let’s do it. If that is the only way that you want me in your life, then I’m going to take it. You are the only family I have, and I can’t lose you, Christian. So, if you want me to be your boyfriend, then that’s what I’m going to be,” he said firmly.
Christian sputtered and blinked rapidly. What the fuck was going on here? “Excuse me?”
“I’m game, Chris. If it’s a relationship that you want, then it’s a relationship you’re gonna get,” Shea said seriously.
Christian eyed him warily. “Sex?”
“Sex included,” Shea agreed.
“But...I don’t understand. Why would you do this? You’re not attracted to me like that.” Christian scoffed. “You can’t just wake up one day and decide to be gay.”
“Did I not tell you once that you were the only guy I have ever found attractive?” Shea reminded him.
“I thought you were fucking with me!”
“Well, I wasn’t.” Shea shrugged.
“Listen, Shea, if you are serious about this, there will be no more women for you. I don’t share,” Christian said.
“I don’t want any women if it means not having you. I do love you, you know.”
“But you’re not in love with me,” Christian said with a pointed look.
“I don’t think it would be hard to fall in love with you, Christian,” Shea murmured softly, taking another step forward, which put him right in front of him.
Christian looked up at the man he was so in love with, offering him everything he has always wanted. Did he take the chance and agree to this? It could end horribly with not just Christian’s heart broken, but Shea’s, too. Could Shea actually be in a sexual relationship with another guy? Christian didn’t know, and he wouldn’t unless he put himself out there and gave this thing a try. The first real burst of excitement hit him square in the gut; this might be his one and only chance to be with Shea, so he was going to take it.
“Are you sure? You’re not just doin’ this out of guilt or pity? Or because you are afraid of losing our friendship?” Christian asked.
“More like terrified,” Shea murmured softly. “But I am absolutely positive that this is what I want.” Shea finished firmly and nodded.
Christian eyed him warily but nodded in return. “Okay, but I’m warning you, there is no going back after this.”
“I know.”
Christian held out his hand, and Shea instantly threaded their fingers together. Christian’s heart fluttered. “God, Shea, are you really sure? You have to be...”
“Chris, just stop! If I wasn’t sure I never would have offered, so stop doubting me,” Shea said, squeezing Christian’s fingers.
“I’m just afraid you are going to change your mind tomorrow.” Christian sighed.
Shea shook his head. “I will not change my mind, I swear.”
“But you’re not gay.”
“I will be for you. I would do anything for you, you should know that by now, Chris,” Shea said with a small smile. “I will not lose my best friend because I’m not gay, fuck that, consider me gay from now on.”
Christian couldn’t help but chuckle. He hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake. Can you really just decide to be gay? Just like that?
Shea sat down next to Christian and looked down at their intertwined hands. “I’m not going to lie and say that being with a dude doesn’t freak me out a little bit, but I liked our kiss earlier. I think if we just take it a step at a time, I’ll be fine. I have been curious about what you are like in bed.”
Christian took a deep breath and blew it out. “Okay,” he agreed.
“How’s your anxiety? Is your heart okay? Did it give out? You gonna puke?”
Christian laughed and nudged Shea with his shoulder. “You’re a dick.”
Shea suddenly yawned but nodded in agreement. “I know...damn, I’m beat, are we done talking? Cause I’d really like to go to sleep now.”
“Yeah, yeah, we can go to sleep.” Christian smirked.
Shea turned and crawled up the bed on his hands and knees. Christian smacked his ass, causing him to yelp in surprise. Shea glared over his shoulder at him before plopping down on his stomach and snuggling up with a pillow.