Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
I was the first time he used my name and as I met his concerned stare in the mirror I smiled. This man, who barely knew me, would protect me. Somehow I knew that loyalty went deeper than a paycheck.
But there was nothing anyone could do, so I sniffled and wiped my eyes then said the one thing I needed to hear in that moment, “I’m fine.”
Despite my broken heart and the overwhelming disappointment hollowing my stomach, that was true. This, too, would pass and in the end everything would be fine. I just had to get past the hurt.
“Perhaps you should call Mr. Davenport.”
I stared out the window as tears silently fell. The world looked foreign on the other side of the glass. A strange haze separated me from reality, and I needed that buffer right now, so I didn’t respond.
Yes, I needed to tell Hale all of this. But for my own sanity I needed time to process first.
This wasn’t a few weeks gone wrong. This was thirty years’ worth of ideals dashed right before one of the most important moments of my life.
He didn’t have to meet me, but he did. He dangled that carrot and I gobbled it up whole. I always loved the idea of my dad, but meeting him made him real and I fell in love with him that day we met. He stole my heart and I handed it over with the trust only a daughter could muster when looking into the affirming eyes of a father.
I blew out a breath.
I’ll be fine…
I’ll be fine.
But for me to be fine I needed to share this at my own pace. Somehow, I knew, saying it out loud would destroy me. I needed time to process, time away from all the wedding stuff to put my emotional needs first.
Then I would tell Hale everything and we’d figure it out together.
Hale would never judge me, but his acceptance couldn’t curb my humiliation. I knew this was not my fault. But it hurt. My dad, a man I hero worshipped from afar all my life, used me. And then he abandoned me all over again.
The truth would come out, but right now I was drained. I lacked the strength to explain, to say the words out loud.
My dad doesn’t love me.
Yeah, it was going to take me a minute or two to get there.
When I got back to the hotel I slept. I slept for hours upon hours, and then I slept some more. My phone continuously woke me up with texts from Quinn and Devyn and Josette and countless calls from Hale. So I shut it off.
I was hiding from the crushing weight of reality I didn’t have the strength to bear.
Sometime after the sun had set, Percy nudged me awake. “Madam?” He stood with a cordless phone on a small silver tray. “Mr. Davenport’s on the line for you.”
I sighed and put the phone to my ear. “Hale?”
“What the fuck is going on, Rayne? You leave without telling me and then you don’t answer your phone for hours. I’ve been worried sick.”
“I’m sorry,” I said with little emotion.
“What is this? What are you doing?”
“I just…needed to get here.”
“Why?”
“I…” The words stuck in my throat as more tears rushed to my eyes. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know how much that man had hurt because I knew Hale would be the best person to console me, but I just couldn’t get the words past my lips. The pain seemed to physically block my throat. “I can’t talk about it.”
“That’s not good enough, Rayne. You don’t just take off without notice and shut off your phone for the entire day. We were supposed to fly out together. The three of us and Andrew. There was a plan.”
“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing I could think to say.
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“What?” I struggled to sit up. “Hale, no. Everything’s fine.”
“Then why did you leave like that?”
I tried again, but I couldn’t command my voice to vocally say that my father was a complete loser who was only using me to steal from my future husband.
“Please don’t be mad at me, Hale. I’m just…” I was still too fragile and on the verge of breaking and he was too far away. I wanted him here. “I never should have left without you.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I was trying to handle things myself.”
“What things? What’s going on?”
“Everything’s f—fine.” I almost got the statement out without my voice breaking. Almost.
“Rayne…” he rasped, hearing the pain I couldn’t articulate. “Whatever’s going on, just talk to me. I won’t be mad.”
My chin trembled. No, he wouldn’t be mad. But it still hurt too much to explain. I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Rayne, baby, whatever it is, just talk to me.”