Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 90642 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90642 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
I’m tempted to beg him not to go to bed, but I feel like an idiot and pretend like everything’s fine. I linger in the hall for too long and ask him what kind of shampoo he uses, like that’s a normal question. He gives me a long look. And still says nothing.
I can’t sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I can see my brothers driving in big black trucks and getting shot at, their bodies torn to pieces. I can hear sirens. I can smell the interior of a prison as they’re paraded to their cells. It’s all sweat and antiseptic.
I last an hour in bed before I’m back downstairs. I pour a glass of wine and pace around the living room, resisting the urge to check in with Stefania, but she’s going through her own shit right now. Probably just as worried as I am.
“When are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Brody’s voice makes me jump. I turn on him, one hand at my throat, the other gripping the wine glass.
“You scared me.”
He comes over wearing a pair of tight black joggers and a simple black t-shirt that hugs his muscular chest. “You’ve been on edge all day. I keep waiting for you to say something, but you don’t. What’s going on?”
I take a deep breath—
And collapse into an easy chair.
“You always talk about how I have so much energy, and you’re right. Normally it’s a good thing. But there’s another side of me I don’t like to show people.” I close my eyes and take a long drink. It’s fine if I tell him how I’m feeling—he’s my husband. It’s not a burden. Even if I hate making people take care of me, when I’m the one that’s supposed to shoulder everyone else’s problems, it’s not the end of the world if I talk.
It’ll be fine, sharing this little bit of myself.
“You’re worried about the attack tonight,” he says very softly, staring at me with those handsome green eyes.
“Remember when you stormed over and acted like a jealous teenager earlier? When I was talking to Matty? Well, I was trying to get information about what’s happening. I only know about it because Stefania told me, and you mentioned making calls for Simon.”
He nods his head. “You’re anxious.”
“Yes, I’m anxious. I’m always anxious.” I get to my feet, unable to stay sitting. “I know this shouldn’t bother me, but my head runs a million miles per hour and I can’t calm it down. Every worst-case scenario plays through my skull on a loop, over and over. I wish it would stop, but it won’t.”
“Elena,” he says quietly.
“It’s fine, okay? You can go back to bed. There’s really nothing you can do about it. I know I’ve been kind of annoying and selfish all day bugging you while you were trying to work, but I was just distracting myself, you know? And now it’s happening, but everyone’s asleep, and I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Elena,” he says again and gets to his feet. “Come here.”
I look at him. “I’m not sure I like the look in your eyes.”
His smile is frightening. “Good. You need a distraction. So come here.”
I chew on my lip. My hand trembles slightly. He’s right, I do need something to take my mind off what’s happening, but I don’t know if using sex for that is exactly healthy. Especially when it would be our first time together.
“You don’t have to.” I don’t move. But I also don’t tell him no.
“I never told you what Omar said to me.” He tilts his head and holds out a hand. “Sit with me.”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Oh my god, that’s right. I completely forgot. What with you kissing me and all.” I walk over and we sit on the couch together.
“We both know you’re the one who kissed me.” His hand is on my thigh. It’s warm and comforting.
“Please, you practically choked me with your tongue.”
“You liked it.”
“I never said I didn’t.”
He lets out a low chuckle. “Good girl. Now are you going to let me talk?”
I chew my lip. Good girl? What the fuck? Coming from any other guy, I’d probably slap him and tell him off, but instead a little excited tingle runs down my spine. I think of how possessive he can be, with Matty, with his brothers, and how good it felt for his mouth to crush mine.
“Yeah, okay, fine. Go ahead and talk.”
He tells me about his conversation with Omar. How Omar thinks he’s corrupt. “The guy hates me. No matter what you do, that won’t change.”
I touch his cheek. I shouldn’t do it. If I were smart, I’d keep my hands to myself. “Why? I mean, what happened between you two?”
“We went to high school together,” he admits.