Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Tam glanced at Driver, fully aware that he hadn’t taken any pleasure for himself. “Like I’m flying.”
Driver traced a finger over Tam’s cheek. “Soar, precious. You look good up there.”
“Thank you.”
Driver’s hair fell forward into his eyes when he shook his head and he pushed it back. “You’re the one who took the risk.”
“I wouldn’t have had the courage without you.”
“Oh baby, you survived a life of fear but you’ve never let it hold you back. You don’t need me.”
Tam disagreed but he didn’t want to argue. “Yeah, I’m a total badass.”
Driver’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “Never forget it.”
Tam’s fingers brushed Driver’s between them so he curled their hands together. They sat like that, holding hands in the dark for so long that Tam thought maybe Driver had fallen asleep.
“Driver?” Tam whispered.
“Yeah?”
“I...um... I don’t know if I can, but I... I mean, you didn’t...and I could, you know?”
The way Driver looked at him then, like maybe Tam was an illusion and he didn’t quite believe what he was seeing, rekindled Tam’s banked desire. Just like that, the offer wasn’t as frightening as it had been when he made it.
“I want nothing more, believe me. You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. But not tonight. Tonight was about you. I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Tomorrow?”
Driver smiled. “Maybe.”
“Will you stay again?”
“Only if we can sleep on a bed. My back ached like hell today.”
Tam stood, still holding Driver’s hand, and led them into his bedroom. He climbed onto the luxurious silk sheets Z had given him then watched Driver undress.
As he slid in beside him, Driver buried his nose in Tam’s hair. “I swear to God, you are my new favorite feeling.”
“Ditto.” Tam rolled so he was the little spoon and Driver snuggled closer.
“Good night.”
“Sweet dreams.”
“I give you permission to wake me up if you get horny,” Driver said.
And with that, Tam drifted to sleep with a smile on his face.
Chapter Twenty
They were holding him down again. Where was he? It didn’t smell like his room. There wasn’t a trace of cigarette smoke or stale beer in the air. Tam struggled to come out of the strange fog that kept his body frozen and heavy. He needed to fight. Something told him if he fought hard enough, this time he might win. But only if he could open his eyes. Why weren’t they opening? What was wrong with him? Had they drugged him again? He hated when they drugged him—it made him feel yucky and kept him hard for hours.
Fear made his heart race and his skin slick with sweat. There was a fire at his back. He screamed.
He knew he screamed. He could feel the raw scratch of it in his throat.
But the only sound that came out was a low, pitiful groan.
And then soft lips pressed against the side of his neck.
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” That voice. Tam knew that voice...but how? It instantly calmed him. His pulse slowed and the nightmare lifted. His eyes fluttered open.
Hazy familiar shapes came into focus. Right, he wasn’t under his mother’s control any longer. He wasn’t homeless and cold. His abusers couldn’t touch him. He was free. A puff of breath left his lungs and his entire body relaxed.
Behind him, Driver snuggled closer, one arm under Tam’s head and the other tucked against Tam’s chest. He placed another sleepy kiss to Tam’s skin before falling asleep again in an instant. His quiet snores were comforting enough to have Tam’s eyes drifting shut too. But, as was usual after a nightmare, sleep was elusive. The difference was, this time he wasn’t nervous about enduring a repeat because he was too busy wondering why Driver’s presence put him at ease.
Was it just familiarity?
He didn’t think so. As often as he’d spent the night with his friends, he’d never felt this safe. Crazy as it was, Tam felt stronger knowing Driver was near. It was as if Driver was the army at his back making it possible to fight his memories alone. Empowered, yes, that was it. He’d recovered what they’d stolen. With one orgasm, Driver had given him something he’d thought lost forever.
Desire, lust, sex, and maybe, eventually...one day, something deeper.
His chest expanded with warmth and hope.
There weren’t words powerful enough to express Tam’s gratitude. He curled his hand into Driver’s then lifted it to his lips. After so many years of unfulfilled wishes he’d stopped believing things would ever change. Even after he’d run away, he’d prostituted himself for scraps of food and the occasional warm bed. Arrested three times, he’d been headed down a very dark path. Dance was the only thing that had kept him sane during those times.
It was simply luck that turned things around for him. One sympathetic judge and a dedicated social worker were all it had taken to change his life. And now...