Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 72284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
“You’re not staying with me?”
I need to leave.
For several reasons.
One, because I feel like an unexploded bomb about to detonate, and she doesn’t need to see it when I let the darkness out to play.
And two, staying with her will be breaking the one rule I have with Brooke. No spending the night.
I trace my fingers over her cheek and through her hair, and she smiles. She likes it when I play with her hair and run my fingers over the delicate features of her face.
She closes her eyes, and I sit there for a moment, watching her. I’m raging inside, but something is competing with the anger as I sit here.
I don’t even know what it is. I’ve never felt it before. But it’s there, fueling the darkness that wants to inflict pain on anyone who would hurt her.
It’s my feelings for her.
I pull my hand away. I’m going into dangerous territory, and I need to pull back before I get in too deep.
I stand and head for the bedroom door but stop when I reach it.
Every instinct I have tells me to walk through the doorway, then close the door behind me and walk away.
Because if I don’t, I’ll be crossing a line I can never uncross.
I open the door.
It’s better this way.
But then I hear a soft whimper. A gentle exhale of breath.
My bratva lullaby.
And I know I’ve lost the fight.
The last of my hesitation leaves me, and I close the door.
Turning around, I discard my jacket and walk over to the bed.
Brooke is lying on her side, her hair spilling across the pillow in silky waves. I kick off my shoes and climb in behind her. Immediately, the sweet scent of her and the softness of her breath settle around me, and I wonder, as I wrap my arms around her, who is comforting whom?
I don’t sleep. Because if she needs me, I’ll be ready.
Instead, I lie with my arms around her, listening to the sweet lullaby of her breath as she falls into a deep sleep, and acknowledge the contentment I feel lying next to her.
And peace. A beautiful, sleepy peace.
Clearly, I’m exhausted. That’s why I’m using crazy words like contentment and peace.
At least in the light of the morning, when my mind is clear from the cobwebs of sleep, I’ll remember why I don’t spend the night with her in my arms. Or at least why it can never happen again. But right now, a thousand armies could descend on this house, and I don’t think I’d be able to remove my arms from around her or even leave this bed.
Sometime toward midnight, I feel her body begin to shake in my arms. She’s awake, and she’s softly crying.
“Hey,” I whisper.
I roll her onto her back, and she looks up at me, and the pain I see on her face cracks me in two. Teardrops wet her lashes. Her big eyes brim with tears. And she looks so wounded I feel my heart crack and bleed into my chest cavity.
“It’s going to be okay,” I say.
“I know. I don’t know why I’m crying. People have accidents all the time.”
I don’t remind her that this was no accident.
“You have nothing to fear, zayka.”
“I don’t?” A new tear falls down her cheek. Followed by another. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where these tears are coming from.”
“You’re in shock.”
She blinks up at me, tears still dripping down her cheeks. “You really don’t think I need to be afraid?”
I smile in the dull light and whisper, “Not when you’re with me.”
I cup her jaw and kiss one tear away. Then another. Then I kiss the corners of her trembling lips. One side. Then the other. And my body begins to tighten with arousal. But that isn’t what this is about. I want to take her tears from her. Vanquish her fear and make her feel safe.
But my arousal comes on fast.
And so does hers.
She parts her lips, and I slide my tongue inside, my mouth claiming hers, taking the kiss deeper, wanting her to feel protected with every deep stroke.
I have no intention of taking it further. I just want to kiss her and touch her and curl my body protectively around her and let her know that when it comes to feeling safe, she can rely on me.
She’s the one who takes it further. She wiggles beneath me. Parts her legs. Runs her hands down my body and guides me to her open thighs.
“I want you inside me,” she rasps, and I feel her need, and it runs the entire length of my body.
She reaches between us and slides me inside. Immediately cocooned in warmth, I crush my mouth to hers and kiss her hungrily as I rock into her.
“Fuck me harder,” she moans against my lips. “Make me come so I forget.”