Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
I’m not going far, I know this, but it’s still a hard decision to make.
I round the corner toward the front steps and see Bohdi sitting on the patio with Isla by his side. The two of them are talking, and he puts an arm around her shoulder, his face blank. She makes a pained sort of sound, and then her eyes swing to me when she realizes I’m standing there. My heart is going to bust out of my chest—it’s pounding so hard I honestly don’t think I can take another breath.
Bohdi turns, and when his eyes connect with mine, the hard expression on his face softens a bit. I rush past, not wanting to speak to him, or see him with his wife, or have to hear what he has to say. My heart is breaking, it’s shattering into a thousand tiny pieces that I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever be able to piece back together again.
Bohdi ... he did something to me.
He connected with my soul in a way I never thought another human would.
The idea of that never going further, like I thought it would, is crushing.
“Merleigh, wait.”
Bohdi’s voice has me clenching my eyes shut and coming to a stop just inside of the front doors. I don’t turn, I don’t face him. If I do, he’ll see how hurt I truly am. I keep my head down, trying to control my breathing as best I can. That feels pointless, but I can’t lose it in front of him. I can’t. I’m leaving in a mere few minutes. If I don’t want, I’ll never have to see him again.
That thought makes me want to vomit.
I see his boots when I open my eyes and know he’s standing in front of me. I don’t look up. I can’t.
“Look at me,” he says, his voice scratchy and so god damned deep it makes my chest ache and my stomach twist.
“Please,” I say, to the floor. “Please just leave me alone.”
“Come with me.”
He takes my arm and pulls me, down the hall, past a few bikers who stop and stare at us, and into a vacant room. There he shuts the door, and I have no choice but to look up at him. His eyes scan over my face, the gorgeous hazel with specks of blue making my soul come to life. I’m in love with him. There is simply no other way to put it.
I’m in love with Bohdi.
And he’s married.
With kids.
“Fuck,” he growls low when he sees the pain on my face. “I never wanted to hurt you, Merleigh.”
“But you did,” I say, my voice scratchy. “You lied, and you didn’t tell me the truth. You ... I don’t even know you. I thought I did, but I don’t.”
He says nothing. Typical Bohdi not to speak a great deal. He’s quiet and withdrawn. The way he has always been since I first met him. Yet, I have managed to find ways to connect with him, without so many words. That’s what hurts the most. I felt him. I truly felt him.
“Isla is my wife, but it’s complicated. You have no idea how complicated. I want to explain it to you, I will, but I have a few things to confirm first. She isn’t the person you think.”
“Neither are you,” I whisper.
That looks like it hurts. His face twists, and his expression is as if I’ve just slapped him.
“What we had, what I felt ... that was the truth.”
“It wasn’t, it was a lie. The truth would have been you telling me everything, then it would have meant something.”
“It fuckin’ meant something. If you’ll just give me time ...”
“I don’t have time,” I say softly. “I’m leaving.”
Now he really does look like I’ve slapped him, hell, he looks like I’ve punched him over and over, wounding his very soul. “What?”
“I’m moving a few hours away. I got a little cabin, and a job, hopefully. I can’t be here anymore. It’s time for me to get my life together. Isla showing up was the push I needed.”
“Merleigh, you can’t fuckin’ leave.”
His voice. God, the pain.
“I’m sorry, it’s too late.”
“You don’t understand, I fuckin’ need you.”
God dammit.
I can’t handle this.
I can’t.
My heart twists, and I look away as a tear rolls down my cheek. He reaches for me, but we’re interrupted by Isla’s voice at the door. “Bohdi?”
I swipe the tear away, and I don’t face her. I can’t.
Bohdi looks up at her, and in a harsh tone, he growls. “I’m busy.”
“Sorry, but we need to talk. I can’t stay here forever. I need to take the boys somewhere else.”
Exhaling, Bohdi looks back to me. “Please,” he says, so low only I can hear it. “Please don’t go until I can talk to you.”
Then, he walks out.
I stand in that empty room long enough to get myself together, then I go and say goodbye to everyone at the club. They all promise to be around in the next few days to help me settle in.