Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
“Yeah, maybe it’s time for us to stop trying to help her,” Waverly suggests. “I mean, it’s clear she doesn’t want it. It’s like a defiant teenager, the more you push them and tell them no, the more they want to do it. Perhaps it’s time to just let her find her own path.”
“I have to agree,” I nod. “If it weren’t for me getting out on my own and taking chances, I wouldn’t have felt free. She has people trying to help her, which is lovely, but she doesn’t see it the way you do. If I were you, I’d let her find her path. Even if she makes the wrong choices, at least you’re letting her decide. You have to remember, she hasn’t been allowed to decide, and that’s a really hard thing to have taken away from you.”
Zariah smiles. “You’re a smart girl, Merleigh.”
I laugh softly. “Not smart, just been there and know what she’s feeling.”
“Maybe you could go and talk to her,” Briella suggests. “I know we’ve tried and I know you’re right, that we have to let her go, but I still want to know that at the very least, we’ve tried one more time to get through to her.”
“Yeah, I’d like to talk to her anyway,” I say. “I need to clear the air with her, I don’t want her forever thinking I’m not on her side.”
“Well, it’s a plan then,” Briella smiles. “Now, back to some interesting gossip, talk to me and you and Bohdi.”
I roll my eyes with a smile. “What about me and Bohdi?”
“Have you two done it yet?” Aviana wiggles her brows.
I flush. “No, because I freaked out on him and since then...we just haven’t tried. Now we have the boys, and...”
“And what?” Waverly crosses her arms. “Girl, you have to jump on that horse and take him for a ride, god knows he needs it. Don’t be scared. We’ll take the boys for a night, you two can get jiggy with it.”
I laugh. “It’s not that, it’s more that I’m afraid. I haven’t been with anyone in the right way, and I’ve got bad memories of the past. That came up last time, and now I’m scared it’ll come up this time, too. I don’t want to freak him out and I don’t want to embarrass myself anymore.”
“I think you just need to go slow,” Zariah suggests. “Maybe kissing, touching, gently discovering one another. You don’t have to dive right in. That’s not what works for every person.”
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. What if Bohdi doesn’t like what he sees when we finally get down to it? What if I’m too timid, too quiet, too...broken?
“You’re overthinking this, honey,” Aviana says gently. “I can see it in your eyes. You need to get out of your head and stop whatever thoughts are swimming through it because that man adores you. He looks at you like you’re the best thing he has ever seen in his life. Whatever you’re thinking he might feel, it’s wrong. I promise you, it’s wrong.”
They’re right, I know that.
It still doesn’t take away that fear.
“I’m sure we’ll get there when the time is right,” I say. “We only just decided to give this a go, I don’t even know where to start with that yet.”
“The boys love you,” Briella smiles. “They seriously do. You’re going to be the best thing in their worlds. It’s a blessing in disguise.”
God, I hope she’s right.
I really do.
Because I don’t want to let them down.
I don’t want to let anyone down.
23
NOW – MERLEIGH
I sit beside Bohdi on the sofa, his arm around me, the boys sound asleep in the spare room at my house.
My nerves are getting the better of me, my stomach twists and I’m terrified of what the night might bring. But still, there is nowhere I’d rather be than right here with him because he makes me feel safe and secure and I know that no matter what, he’s not going to put any pressure on me that I don’t want there.
He’s incredible and the happiness I feel right now is overwhelming.
“It’s fuckin’ nice here,” he murmurs, his mouth close to my hair, his breath warm. “I miss bein’ near the beach.”
“You could come live here, we could get a bigger place. I can keep my job and you can just go back and forth to the club.”
“It’s tempting, somethin’ I’ll look into.”
I snuggle closer. “Have you heard anything from Isla?”
“Nothin’. Not a single thing. I tried to call Daniel, safe to say that didn’t go well.”
“Oh, how come?”
“He’s angry at me, blames me for Sherry’s death, and blames me for leavin’ him with a broken Isla and two ‘screamin’ banshees’. I told him that Isla was gone, and I wondered if he might know where she was. He hung up on me after tellin’ me not to call again and to keep the brat. So, safe to say, he doesn’t give a fuck where she is.”